“Oh my fucking God,” I whisper-shout at myself, overwhelmed by the discovery.
Is it really Oli in there? No way. No fucking way.
In disbelief, I click on the button on top to call him, coming closer to the living room. Sure enough, a phone rings, discarded in the pair of jeans. And it absolutely is Oli’s ringtone—the same one as the satellite phone inJurassic Park Three.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” I hurriedly and quietly chant to myself. Oli’s secret girl is Tamika. And Tammy’s guy is Oliver.
I need to get the fuck out of here before they finish and find me out here. The whole time I put on my shoes and skedaddle, I can’t help but freak out. How did that happen? And how did I not know?! She’s my roommate. My fucking roommate. And he’s one of my best friends. How the fuck did I never figure it out?
As soon as the door is locked behind me, I breathe again. I then walk to the elevator while I replay the past few months in my head, trying to think of when this started. Oli told me about meeting someone new, or starting to see someone he already knew, a little before Dakota’s Friendsgiving, didn’t he? As for Tammy, I’m not really sure when she first told me about the guy she was seeing. I was spending a lot of time at Lex’s around that period, so I couldn’t have noticed her spending the night elsewhere. All I knew was that she really liked him and couldn’t get enough.
I’m still not over it when I arrive at Lex’s place. Those sounds I heard, which were amusing then, now feel like an affront to my ears. I don’t want to know what Oli sounds like in bed. It’s like, ew, just… no.
A revolted shiver runs through me. I know he has a dick, I felt it under me that time I acted like a lunatic after our one and only date, but my mental image of Oli has become that of a Ken doll—nothing there but blank space. And now, I have to live with the knowledge that he’s apparently a sex god? In Tammy’s standards, at least.
“I need a shower,” I mumble with a grimace, prone to another outraged shiver.
But because I had one before heading to my old apartment, I decide to be reasonable instead and get to work. Half an hour after I’ve sat down, I get a call from Oli.Shit.
“Don’t make it weird,” I tell myself before picking up. “Hey, man,” I greet. Fuck, I sound weird.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Uh, not much. The usual, you know?”
“Oh, okay. I saw your texts. And I saw you called as well. I thought it might be important.”
“Ah, hm, kind of? But you can drop by whenever, really. Take your time, recuperate…”
“What?”
Moron!“From your week of work!” I quickly justify.
“Okay…? Are you alright?”
“Yup, never better. You?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
I bet you are, fucking my roommate and all…“Well, you can come—uh, arrive, whenever,” I say. “I’m here all day.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Absolutely. See ya in a bit, mah brotha from anotha motha.”
Dear fucking God, I’m fucking terrible at this. Before the carnage gets any worse, I hang up. I shove my face in my hands with a whimper, wondering where the fuck all that came from. Two months without sex and I get weird as hell about it.
Though I’m not sure the sex is the issue here, but rather them not telling me. They didn’t want me to know, for some reason, but now I do. And I’m not sure what to do with that information, other than be happy for them both.
When Tammy tried to push me to date Oli, I had the thought that maybe she had a crush on him. Seeing her get the guy she’s been pining after is great. And seeing Oli move on from that brief not-even-a-relationship we had is also a good thing.
I’m just disappointed they didn’t trust me enough to tell me.
Twenty minutes after the call, Oliver rolls in. Fuck, I can’t even handle him on the phone. It’ll be even worse in real life. “That was quick,” I tell him, surprised to see him so early.
“Yeah… To be honest, I was worried you were having a stroke or something, so I thought I’d check on you.”
“Ah-ha, no, I’m good. I hope I didn’t take you away from… anything important.”
