“If you ever need help, or someone to talk to, or anything, you know you can come to me, right? Or any of the guys. We’re here for you.”
I feel warm inside for the first time since Lex’s arrest. Oli’s kind words, his support, and his friendship come at a much-needed time. Having him on our side, helping Lex however he can, feels monumental. If the prosecution discovers anything, Oli will find out and tell me, then we can work on countering it.
For the first time in a while, I don’t feel entirely hopeless.
Chapter 06
“Happy late Valentine’s Day,” Andrea says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. She slides a Snickers bar toward me that was on the table when I arrived. “I brought a box of actual chocolates, but they wouldn’t let me take them in, so I got this from the vending machine.”
“Thank you,” I say, slipping the candy bar into my pocket.
“How have you been since last week?” she asks. I call her nearly every day, so she probably knows the answer to this. But it’s a way to break the thin wall of ice that seems to grow between every visit.
It’s been a month since my arrival here, and while I’ve gotten accustomed to the workings of the facility, I’m still not at ease around the other inmates. It’s better that way. I need to remain vigilant at all times, just in case. “The same. The days all resemble each other. It’s hard to keep track,” I answer.
“Are you done reading the US Code?”
“Yes. I went through all the volumes that concern me again. I didn’t find much, but I still passed it along to my lawyers in case anything could help.”
“And?”
“There was nothing of value, nothing they didn’t already have.” Her shoulders fall with defeat, a slight sigh brushing past her lips. “How was the drive?” I ask. It’s the first time Kevin couldn’t come with her as he’s off to California for the weekend to introduce Maddison to Shelly’s extended family.
“Good, thanks.”
“Did you take my car?”
She winces and averts her eyes. “Andrea,” I mutter.
“Sorry, I forgot you wanted me to take it. Mine works just fine, I promise.”
“Andrea, don’t make it a thing,” I protest, poorly hiding my irritation. She recoils at my temper, so I force myself to calm down andexplain. “I’m sorry. It’s just that… I can’t do anything else or be there for you. Please take the Mercedes, even if it’s only for my sake. I’ll worry every time you’re coming to visit me otherwise.”
My voice cracks. Just a little, but enough for her to notice. Whatever protest she might have had, she keeps it to herself. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll take it next time, I promise.”
“Thank you.” There’s a pause as she looks around, anxiously picking at her nails. “Are you alright?” I ask softly.
“Why is everyone asking me that all the time?” she grumbles.
“Because you don’t look alright, Andrea. You look exhausted, and you’ve lost weight.”
“Is it that noticeable?”
“Yes.”
She sighs and closes her eyes, as if it’ll make what she has to say easier. “I’m worried about you. My evenings are spent trying to find something, anything, that could help you get out of here, and when I finally go to bed, it takes hours to fall asleep. I’ve lost my appetite, and I regularly feel nauseous from all the emotional distress. I nearly puked my lunch when I got here earlier.”
Even with her eyes closed like this, tears wet her lashes. So she closes them harder to contain them.
“I miss you all the time, Lex. The only moments I don’t are when I’m dreaming of you. Everything is like it used to be—you’re there, and we’re happy, and it’s all perfect. But then I wake up. I always wake up. And I start crying. The first thing I do every morning is cry. But then I force myself to stop, get out of bed, get ready for the day, and go to work.”
She sniffs, her face distorted with sorrow. “And it’s so hard, Lex. It’s so damn hard. All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep all day, so I can dream of you and forget everything that’s happening. But I can’t do that.”
I don’t hold back from reaching out any longer. I grab her hand in mine, squeezing until she opens her teary eyes to look at me.
“I’ll never be able to live with myself if you’re found guilty,” she sobs. “I did this to you. It’s all my fault, Lex.”
“You didn’t,” I counter, wishing I could hold her in my arms until she stops shaking.
