“You’re going to hurt yourself. Stop this!”
“It’s all my fault,” I sob, breaking down into shreds. I knew I was in mortal danger, but my consideration didn’t extend to my family.
My body gives up as tears shake me, flowing down my cheeks. Lex prevents my fall as I turn limp, gently accompanying me down and sitting on the floor with me. His restraining hold turns comforting, and I shove my face into his chest in an attempt to muffle my cries.
“I did this to her. She’s there because of me. We should have known. We should have protected them…”
“From now on, we will. I promise. But we can’t go. It’s too dangerous.”
“Ineedto go, Lex. I have to see her before it’s too late. If she dies and I never went, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Completely submerged in agonizing guilt, I allow myself to cry in his arms. I should have told them the truth about the attack. I should have told them it wasn’t some random mugging gone wrong. Had they known Lex was targeted, they might have been more careful, more attentive to everything.
I barely called her in the past two months. Four times at best. I’ve been the worst granddaughter ever, out of some stupid notion she’ll be here forever. But now she very much might not.
“You can’t force me to stay here,” I say, trying to push away from him. He doesn’t allow it, his muscular arm keeping me prisoner. Just like that, he proves that he can indeed force me to stay.
One of his hands lifts my face to meet his eyes, and he soothingly grazes my hair back, pressing his lips on my exposed forehead. “I understand your pain, Andrea. But please, let’s be rational about this.”
“There’s nothing rational about our lives anymore. Like I said, I will abide by whatever rules you come up with, but Ihaveto go, Lex.”
“Andrea, please. I—”
“No, you don’t get it. I did this to her. She’s one of the people I love the most in this world, and I did this to her. I need to see her, to know she’ll be fine, to apologize…”
“What you need is to realize how risky that would be.”
“I do. I realize. I’m still going. And if you prevent it and she doesn’t make it… Lex, I’ll blame you forever.”
He doesn’t answer right away, and I slowly calm down, tucked in his comforting embrace. I want him to come with me, of course. But if I have to slip past his vigilance, get into the Jeep, and head south behind his back, I will. The terrible relationship he has with his family doesn’t allow him to understand why I need this so badly.
“Give me an hour,” he eventually bargains. “I’ll see what I can do to ensure our safety.”
“You promise you’ll let me go?”
“As much as I hate it, yes. And I’m coming with you. You can shower, change into fresh clothes, and repack that mess. But give me that hour, please.”
“Alright,” I agree with a slight nod.
I can’t move quite yet, which he must sense because he doesn’t try to stand up. I’m still crushed under the weight of guilt. “I’m sorry for what I said about your family,” I whisper.
“You were right. I wouldn’t rush to Dallas or New York for them. Not if it means putting you in danger. But I know who you are, and how you are. You love deeply, and that’s one of the reasons I love you so much. I fucking hate that you’re putting us in this situation, but I can’t condemn this side of you because it’s now inconvenient.”
“You’ll keep us safe,” I offer as a consolation, looking up at the hardened lines of his face.
“I’ll do the best I can.”
When I stretch my neck up, he complies reluctantly, laying a brief and cold kiss on my lips. Then, carefully, he stands up before helping me do the same.
“An hour,” he repeats. “Be ready.”
I nod and watch him leave, aware that I’ve put him between a rock and a hard place. And he doesn’t like that at all. That’s why I’ll comply with whatever rule he sets for us. I’ll be a paragon of obedience.
Anything as long as I get to see Maria Carmen before things take a bad turn.
Chapter 26
Four hours. It’s the fastest I can take us to the hospital in Portland, where Maria Carmen is being treated. An hour to organize it all, one more to drive to the nearest landing strip where a jet from Vancouver waits for us, one to fly down to Portland, and one for our security detail to drive us through rush hour traffic to the hospital.
