“You could have.”
“But Ididn’t.”
I don’t want to get mad at her. Not when she’s just taken a bullet for me. Because no matter how she frames it, that’s what she did. For the second time in a month, she put me first and risked it all. And I can’t bear the fucking thought of it.
“Don’t pull away from me,” she begs, sadness veiling her tired eyes. “I need you. I need you to talk to me, to hold me, to love me… You make me strong, and I need that right now.”
It would take a heart of stone not to completely melt at her plea. And mine is of flesh and blood, and it only beats for her, so I can’t help but cave in.
In seconds, I’m at her side, kneeling as I embrace her the best I can, lightly so I won’t hurt her. My earlier tears return as she uses her good arm to hold me, pressing me onto her fragile frame.
“I’m okay,” she breathes out. “I’m right here, Lex. I’m alive.”
“Don’t ever do this again, Andrea,” I say, helpless against the trembling of my voice. “I can’t—I can’t even—I don’t know what I would have done if—” Words stumble on my tongue, tears flowing down my cheeks.
“I’m right here, baby,” she whispers, a frail hand grazing my hair.
She breathes out more words of reassurance, and yet again tonight, I feel like I’m failing her. I should be the one offering comfort and reassurance.Shegot hurt.Sheneeds my strength. But it’s as though my mind is broken, left in splinters by tonight’s events. Fractured all over the place. And with a weak arm around my upper back, she’s holding me together.
She’s the strongest person I have ever known. And I almost lost her, and with her, my reason to live. A quarter of an inch the wrong way, and my entire world would have shattered, leaving nothing behind.
Nothing but a burning desire for revenge.
When my mother returns with a Snickers bar, Lex’s tears and mine have dried. My hand is still in his soft hair, gently grazing it. I appreciate how silky and thick it is, enjoying its texture with a newfound appreciation. I was almost deprived of this—of touching him, of holding him, of loving him. Everything could have been much, much worse.
No matter what I told the doctor, I do feel lucky to still be here, alive.
Lex stands up again, gives me a kiss, and explains he’ll be in the hallway to allow another member of my family to take his place.
I’m with both my parents, feeling tired again, when Kate and Rafa arrive.
“Holy fuck, Andy. I can’t believe you actually did that,” Kate exclaims after a careful hug. “What a boss-ass bitch.”
“I’m not feeling much like one at the moment. You two took forever. What were you doing?”
“We were… arguing in the parking lot,” she explains, giving Rafa a miffed look.
“Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?”
“It’s fine. We’re just disagreeing on a minor matter.”
“Children aren’t a minor matter, Katherine,” Rafa interjects, his signs harsh.
“Wow, wait… Are you guys talking about kids already?”
“Not about having themright now, but about when we want them.”
“And what? This asshole doesn’t want any?” I ask, turning to Rafa. My arms are too heavy to sign, but he can read my lips just fine. When he flips me off, I find the strength to return the gesture.
“Your friend is the problem here,” he signs with a cynical expression on his face. “She wants to wait at least five years.”
“I have my career to think of!”
Okay, the way this went is giving me more whiplash than taking a bullet. Seriously? Rafa wants kids, and Kate is pushing it away?
As if they just remembered why they’re here, Kate shakes her head and says, “Sorry, you have way bigger concerns right now. We’ll talk about it when we get home,” she tells my brother.
Fuck, I hate that I feel so tired, because I’d definitely want to hear how this conversation goes. It’s about becoming an aunt, after all. A double aunt, since it’s my best friend and my brother.
