“That’s weird, isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like you threaten to fire your employees when they try to beat it,” I retort, acerbic.Which makes me realize…“You gaslighting asshole! We talked about it yesterday, and youtried to convince me that the actual Nammota would never sign their name like that!”
“No, I implied it would take an imbecile to do that.”
“Then you’re an imbecile.”
“I never claimed I wasn’t, freckles.”
He comes closer, and between the nickname, the abs, and the fucking gray sweatpants, I sense my outrage slowly leaving my body. “No. You do not use that nickname on me like that, Lex,” I scold him. I take a step back, but the desk stops my retreat. “Are you serious about all this? If it’s a joke, please say it now.”
“Again, I wish it wasn’t true. But that’s the reality of who I am, and you have the right to know before this goes any further. Like I said, I had nothing to lose then, but now… I would never have done any of that if I’d known I would have so much to lose one day—mainly you.”
“But… Nammota was never caught, so you’re good now, right?”
“It would only take one person smart and determined enough to change that. I’ve lived with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head for twelve years now, and it’ll be there until the day I die.”
The thought of him having to carry such a burden pains me. Like almost everyone, I’ve always sympathized with Nammota because what he did was heroic and selfless. We all know how every single cent he stole was given back to people more deserving, people who were given the short end of the stick by a society built to drain them to the marrow. I still remember the general frenzy whenever there was a new Nammota hit. People rejoiced in the streets and on social media. Aside from a few assholes, no one wants him in jail.
Still tormented by everything I’m trying to compute, I look up at Lex, at his dashing face, at the guilt plastered on it… Is he really that same man everyone was rooting for? Have I actually fallen in love with someone I’ve admired since I was fourteen? A national hero forced to operate in the shadows? The biggest cyber vigilante that ever existed?
“You’re really him,” I breathe out, feeling lightheaded.
“I am,” he says with a nod. “Or I was. I promise, Andrea, all that is in the past.”
“That’s-that’s not my concern.” He’s even closer now, but I can’t move—trapped by the desk and too numb, anyway. “Did you really do all those things?”
“I was young, angry, and thought I was doing something important.”
“You were. Nammota helped—Youhelped so many people. You changed their lives forever. And you reminded those billionaire assholes they weren’t untouchable, after all.” The reminder has something fluttering low in my stomach. I always knew Lex was incredible, but I never realized to what extent exactly.
“I don’t even know if I cared about helping those people. All I cared about was the next big thing, getting better, going further than anyone before.”
It’s clear there’s unresolved conflict there, given the way his voice is uneven. Touched by his lack of confidence and this new facet of Lex that I’m discovering, I frame his face with my hands and force him to look at me. “There were other ways to do this, but you decided to help them, Lex. Don’t take that away from yourself. You’re a good person, and not only do I know that, but the whole world does—even if they don’t know it’syouspecifically.”
But I know. Jesus fucking Christ, I know.
He nods, still silent, and I can’t help but graze his thick hair under my fingers. “Was that one of the reasons you tried to keep me away?” I wonder.
“Yes, I… didn’t want to drag you into this with me. Those decisions I made over a decade ago have put me in danger, and I refused to let them impact you in any way. Again, if someone finds out I’m—”
“It’s been what, five years since you stopped? It’s not like there will suddenly be new evidence that can lead them to you.”
He lets that sink in for a moment, his face grave. “I take it you aren’t worried about staying by my side?” he asks. I shake my head with confidence. “And you don’t care that I’m a cybercriminal?”
“Areformedcybercriminal. And you must be an actual imbecile if you think that being a hero who helped thousands of people would make me love you any less. In fact, now that the shock is slowly dissipating, I think it makes me love you even more.”
His hands come to my hips as he steps even closer, grazing my front with his. “Does it?”
I nod, following his gentle push and sitting on the desk. “It’ll take more than that to scare me away, Coleman. Especially now that I’ve seen your comics collection. I’ll need five years to read all that.”
“So, I’m stuck with you for at least five years?” he wonders, following the slope of my neck with tender lips.
“You also need to show me how you did some of that,” I explain, vaguely motioning at the computer set up next to us.
He straightens up, looking all serious again. “No, that’s off limits, Andrea.”
“Why?”
“It’s in my past, and I’m not allowing any of it to resurface.”
