“I’m not the issue here. I’ve always known what I wanted, Lex—and it was you. All of you. But I don’t thinkyouknow what you want.”
“It’s because I know what you’d be getting yourself into.”
“Then tell me. Lay it all out for me to see. I can’t guess any of it if you don’t talk to me, Lex. And I can’t keep relying on others to learn things about you,” she explains.
“What if I tell you everything, you’re fine with it, and then you change your mind later on?”
“Unless you pull all that shit again, I don’t see the bad overcoming the good. I never minded it. It’s part of who you are.”
There’s a moment of silent pondering there, where I try to evaluate the pros and cons of giving this another shot. I was ready to sacrifice the only future I’ve ever wanted for her. But it seems she’d rather have that future with me than the sacrifice, so it looks like my calculations were way off.
The sound of something grumbling between us distracts me. Andrea’s cheeks redden while her hands flatten over her stomach. “I haven’teaten yet,” she explains.
I’m not ready to let go when she carefully gets herself out of my lap to stand up on wobbly legs. She adjusts her dress, smoothing it down her wide hips. “I’ll let you think everything over,” she says. “If you want to try to fix this, you can join me at the empanadas place two blocks down the street. If you don’t join me, I’ll know what it means. But you’ll have to let me go all the way, Lex. If you don’t want this, then you can’t have me at all. Not even from afar.”
She’s right. There can’t be any in-between. We’re either all in or all out.
“Got it?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes, I got it.”
“Good.”
I watch as she picks up her coat and slips it on. When I stand, I have to fight the urge to pull her to me again and kiss her senseless. Wordlessly, we walk to the door together. She doesn’t say a thing, but when she looks up at me, I guess all the things she wishes she could tell me.
She wants me to join her there. Despite everything I did to her, despite how much I messed up, she wants me to come to the restaurant and fight for us. And I want exactly the same. I need to decide if it’s what Ishoulddo.
I open the door for her, and she offers me a single nod before twisting to face the inside of my apartment. “Goodbye, Iris,” she lets out with a clear voice.
“Goodbye, Andrea. It was nice seeing you again.”
The look she gives me is full of amusement. Were the moment not so tense, I know she’d say something witty about me not removing her from my home AI.
Without another word for me, she turns on her heels and walks away, her silhouette retreating through the cold light of the hallway.
Maybe I didn’t remove her from Iris’s code because, deep down, I always hoped she’d come back. Or perhaps I knew I’d open my eyes and shake myself back to my senses. She’s probably the only person out there who knows just how much of an idiot I can be and who’d never hesitate to remind me. I finally found someone even more stubborn than I am, and I think I’ve needed that my entire life.
I’ve neededhermy whole life.
Chapter 07
Lex loves me.
That single thought loops in my head so loudly that I don’t even hear the light chatter surrounding me. Michelle and Lucy were right after all. He loves me.
That doesn’t fix anything, though. I was hurt more than ever before, so I’m not diving back until I know he won’t do that again. He needs to earn me back. And I won’t make it easy. Not this time.
I didn’t plan on kissing. Not even a little. But hearing him say he loves me short-circuited my brain so hard that I had to taste his lips again. I regret it, but not really. It reminded me of why we’re so good together, of the untamable chemistry that sizzles between us. Of course I want this to work out. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want that kind of love for the rest of their lives?
I’m getting ahead of myself. He might not even join me here. Maybe he’ll decide to let me go—all the way this time. I have my list of potential jobs waiting for me at home, and if he doesn’t come, I’ll start sending applications.
But God, do I hope he’ll come…
I straighten in my chair and adjust my coat over the back of it. I’m in a strategic position that allows me to glance at the door whenever the bell over it chimes. But every time I look, with my heart full of hope, it’s only to get crushed by disappointment. I need to prepare myself in case he decides not to come. As a distraction, I pick up my phone and check my notifications. There isn’t enough to occupy me, so I set it down with a sigh.
Did I make it worse? If Lex doesn’t come, will I be even more devastated than I already was? Knowing he loves me but doesn’t want to be with me sounds like an even more brutal blow.
The bell shakes, but when I look up, a couple comes in.
