He either doesn’t know what to answer, or he doesn’t know if he should say it.
What we shared, the bond we had… Not everyone gets to experience such passion, regardless of how ephemeral it was. Our souls collided with burning ferocity and flew to great heights. That only made the fall more brutal, the crash leaving nothing to salvage.
But the sadness in Lex’s eyes leads me to believe maybe I was wrong. Perhaps not all is lost, and there is something left. I can’t help it. Hope slowly awakens inside me. Maybe he’s having a hard time, too. He doesn’t love me, but it can still hurt. At least a little.
“What did you think would be easier, Lex?”
I can see how conflicted he is, his internal turmoil tearing him up inside. It’s as if he can’t answer, as if he doesn’t know how to.
He surprises me by bringing his hand to my face, and the shock is so great that I don’t move. The tips of his fingers softly graze my cheek, his eyes gliding over my confused expression. His tenderness hits me hard, my heart suddenly hammering a chaotic beat behind my ribs, a swarm of butterflies blooming low in my stomach.
I’ve been craving scraps of his affection, even the tiniest bit of it. I’ve longed for anything that could prove I didn’t imagine it all, that wedidshare something real. Something special.
Now that it’s happening, I don’t know what to do, how to react, or what to think of it. This can’t be good. He’ll regret it in the morning. I’m sure of it. Shit,I’llregret all of this in the morning.
I open my mouth to say something and put an end to it, but he speaks before I can. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he professes, his tortured tone wrecking me even further. The protest I’m about to utter gets caught in my throat as his hand brushes my hair away, tucking it behind my ear.
He can’t say those things to me and ruin all the hard work I’ve done to get over him. But he just did. And I’m so fucking weak, so fucking miserable, I don’t even care. I’m a wreck, wearing a robe and runny makeup from this morning, and my hair is having a bad day. But he thinks I’mso fucking beautiful.
I’m still swallowing that information when his hand slides to my neck, and he unexpectedly bends toward me, pulling me to him.
My eyes widen with stupor, and my mind goes blank. I want this with everything I have. I want to feel his lips on mine one last time. Some inner strength surges from God knows where, and I twist my face away, denying him. His lips meet my cheek instead, and my insides melt at the simple contact. That’s enough to turn me into a useless pile of mush, shattering my will to fight him and keep my distance.
His lips glide down my throat, the warmth of his breath like fire on my skin. With one hand holding me firmly in place, he drops open-mouth kisses there, sampling me with his wet, greedy tongue. Intense shivers spread through my entire body. I forgot how intense everything is with him, how perfect it feels to be in his embrace.
An embarrassing moan creeps up my throat as I press my knees together in a desperate attempt to muffle the need growing in my core. Shit, I want him. I want him so badly it’s uncomfortable, my clit pulsing.
I stay right there in his hold, so needy I even tilt my head to the side to give him better access. The aftermath is the last thing on my mind as I clutch his nape to keep him there, to encourage him to keep going. He licks the sweet spot where my jaw, neck, and ear meet, getting another moan out of me. I tremble when he nibbles the lobe of my ear, making me so fucking wet I’m almost embarrassed.
As if he read my mind, his hand lets go of my waist and settles high on my thigh. “Are you wet for me, Andrea?” His low, hoarse voice makes me lose my mind even further.
I am. I so fucking am, and he barely did anything. He licks a fiery path along a tendon on my throat, and my insides clench around emptiness. Losing whatever restraint I have left, I spread my legs and bring his hand right where I need him, feeling like I’ll burst if he doesn’t dosomething. He complies with eagerness, his fingers knowing precisely what to do to drive me mad.
“Aah… Lex…” I whimper as he presses a precise finger over the seam of my shorts, right over my aching clit.
He moves back and stares at my parted lips, his pupils expanding until his irises are almost black. My cheeks burn, and I know my face is red, my eyes glistening with want, my expression one of pure lust. His grip on my neck changes, his hand wrapping around my throat instead. Fuck, how I’ve missed this dominant side of him.
Keeping his eyes on my flushed face, he removes his hand from between my legs, and I whine in disapproval. Before I can beg him to put it back, he slips it under the elastic band of my shorts and makes his way under the cotton of my panties, the tips of his fingers grazing the curls there. They lower down to my pussy, and I witness the delight in his eyes when he sees exactly how much I want him.
“Always so fucking wet for me,” he grunts.
With two fingers, he gathers some of my arousal and then draws maddening circles over my clit. I let out a breathy moan and shiver from head to toe. Already, I know he’ll make me come in under a minute.
It’s almost as if I forgot how amazingly well he knows my body. Like the most gifted musician with his instrument of predilection, he knows precisely what string to pull, what key to push, and what part to graze to drive me insane with pleasure. He used to be so relentless in giving and taking so much more than I thought I could handle. Everything in me longs to find that utter bliss again.
“I’ve missed this,” he tells me, not stopping his torturous ministrations. His hold on my throat tightens to bring me closer to his face, his mouth an inch away from mine. I can smell whatever he drank at the bar, and I’m terribly tempted to taste it. “I’ve missed the sounds you make when I touch you, how your tight cunt wraps around my cock, how fucking easy it is to make you come…”
His dirty words bring me even further into pleasure, and a soft cry escapes my lips. I’m so ridiculously horny, it takes me a moment to process his words. Especially since he’s back to kissing and nibbling at my throat.
Sex.
He misses the sex.
He misses fucking me.
It isn’t enough. I deserve more than that. More than sex.
I never doubted our sexual harmony. Not even in the darkest times. I’ll never meet another man like him, and he told me himself I was his best. We were basically Olympians at that.
