Still looking at the screen, I feel her gaze on my profile. When I turn to her, she swiftly looks away. Her cheeks have a pink tint, and her hands fidget on her lap. And that’s when I realize she’s just as tormented as I am, desperate for more of what we shared that night. Deep down, I knew there was no way I’d be the only one craving more.
But even now, nearly certain she does, I know we can’t indulge. I’m not the relationship type, and she doesn’t strike me as someone who can have a casual affair with her boss. She’s too intense for that, and she would probably expect so much more than I can give her. And then what? We break things off, and I lose the best programmer I’ve ever hired? What if she quits and I never see her again? A sense of sadness overwhelms me at the thought.
As tempting as Andrea Walker is, this path will lead to nothing but sour disappointment.
She almost looks upset as she says, “Thank you for your help.” She doesn’t wait for an answer and turns to her computer.
“Andrea, I …”
I what? I need more, too? I’m not over what happened between us? I’ve been dreaming of you relentlessly, of your taste, of your moans, of how gushing wet you were for me?
She can’t know that. It’s too dangerous.
“Can I have the polish remover?” I say instead.
Disappointment twists her pretty features, as if she expected me to say something else.
I ruined it. The lightness of the afternoon is gone because I don’t know how to gently let her down. It rarely happens anymore, but I find myself wishing I were better with people, better at anticipating their emotions, so that I could say whatever she needs to hear to move on. So that I could free us of this unwanted need that strains our every interaction.
The day ends like it started—in tense silence. Then it’s time to leave, and I’m thankful for it. She isn’t coming back tomorrow, so I’ll work from home. All this overtime and moments alone with her are driving me to the brink of insanity.
So why the fuck do I offer, “Do you want me to drive you home?”
“I’m good,” she says, hooking her bag over her shoulder.
We walk together to the elevators and patiently wait for one to arrive. “Thank you for coming today, Andrea.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t have anything planned anyway.”
When she looks up, I’m already looking down at her. I don’t have to wonder why she looks somewhat sad because I feel the same way.
I wish there could be more to this. I wish we didn’t have to behave. I wish I knew how to handle this. I wish I could kiss her, just one more time. Onelasttime.
Don’t do it, I tell myself. In a few weeks, the lid will be back on Pandora’s box—tightly screwed shut. I need to stay strong for a little longer and resist the tempting call of her parted lips and the silent hope in her brown eyes. But I’m only human, and there’s only so much I can endure.
“Fuck it,” I grunt to myself.
Like an itch I can’t resist, I grab her nape and bend forward. Before she can realize what’s happening, I press my mouth on hers for an ardent, urgent kiss.
She’s so stunned that she doesn’t react, recoil, or say anything. She stands there, her entire frame taut, trying to process what’s happening. And then she relaxes, her hand lifting up to rest on my jaw.
It isn’t like any kiss we’ve shared before. It isn’t lust-filled. We aren’t devouring or seducing each other… It’s just an irrepressible need.
I move away from her, but only to admire her flushed face. The wonderment in her eyes makes something clench in my chest. Because she’sirresistible, I bend to steal another hungry peck, slipping a greedy arm around her waist to pull her in.
It feels so fucking right to hold her like this.
Her jaw unlocks when my tongue demands access, and the kiss grows more intense.A few more seconds, I tell myself. And then I’ll pull away for good, and we’ll learn to stay away from one another.
The elevator makes a loud “ding,” but that isn’t enough to break the spell. Not for me, at least. Andrea immediately reacts to it, though, pulling away, so I let go of her as the doors open.
I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not that a few people are already on it. It’s probably better that way. I would have kissed her again on our ride down, and that would have resulted in inviting her back to my place.
As I stare into her lust-filled gaze, I know without a doubt she would have accepted.
Chapter 21
Idon’t know what to expect when I return to work on Monday, but I feel electric. I spent my Sunday reliving our quick but intense kiss. Over and over and over.
