Sunday night provides little rest, even though I have the bed to myself again. I keep tossing and turning, wondering how things will be in the morning. There’s a reason bosses and employees don’t mingle, and I’m living it.
By the time my alarm rings in the morning, I slept for three hours at best, and I’m in no shape to face whatever the day will throw at me. I consider calling in sick, but it’s too cowardly.
So, I get ready and go to work, bottling everything up.
To my relief, Lex isn’t in his office yet. The strong facade I built deflates at once, relieved to see the confrontation won’t happen right away. I sit on my chair, and as my computer boots, I stare at my keyboard, holding my head between my hands, elbows on the glass desk.
Today, Steven and Mason start their work on the app. I already devised a schedule and prepared the scripts they’ll work on first, but Lex hasn’t gone through it yet.
It won’t do any harm to debrief them, so I head downstairs. A mini heart attack strikes me as soon as I enter the Troll’s Lair.
He’s there. Lex is at his desk with the guys.
Is he avoiding me, or is he needed down here?
“Hi, guys,” I say, hoping I sound natural. They lift their heads and greet me back, except for Lex, who imperceptibly tenses.
Oliver gives me a wink and a grin when our eyes meet on my way to Steven, and I smile back, a little awkwardly.
I spend a solid hour there, talking to Steven then Mace. They don’t seem to take the fact that I’m the project leader poorly, even though I’m the most recent hire. Selling my app to Kelex, which was such a huge personal accomplishment, is now tainted by the fact that Lex has been wanting me for God knows how long.
Surrounded by my colleagues, I wonder what they’d think if they knew. Would they imagine that I seduced our boss? Would they think I slept with him in exchange for all this?
I feel dizzy when I realize I’m not even sure of Lex’s motives anymore. Yes, my app is amazing and perfect for Kelex. But did he push for the sale to get in my panties? Was this why he helped me get the best deal?
Before that dreaded kiss, I felt like a boss-ass bitch, a programmer extraordinaire. But now, I feel like a fraud, a naive imbecile.
Even when I return to Lex’s empty office, I can’t fully relax. Despite trying to focus, I’m constantly distracted by the fact that he might come in at any second. Every time I hear someone’s footsteps, I tense, and every single time someone knocks on a door in the hallway, my heart drops—even though Lex doesn’t knock, a fact I’m well aware of.
After lunch with Tami, Dakota, and Kat, I go upstairs again.
The office isn’t empty.
Lex is on his computer, working on something. Our eyes meet over his screens, and I hold his gaze for as long as I can—not very long—before looking away and moving for my seat.
“Don’t worry. I just need a few things, and I’ll get back downstairs,” he coldly explains.
Does this mean he’s working downstairs to avoid me? We’re grown adults. It’s ridiculous to go to these lengths. Even if it was the most incredible kiss of my life, and I almost got his dick inside me in the process.
“Don’t feel obliged to do so on my account,” I say, trying to be professional. “It was just a kiss.”
His gray eyes instantly seek mine, dark and angry behind his glasses.
Although many thoughts seem to cross his mind, he doesn’t say anything and returns to his screen. I sit down to get back to work, tired of feeling like shit all the time. We remain in utter silence for a long time, and my attention span becomes that of a four-year-old. I end up breaking the ongoing cold war out of necessity.
“Would you mind checking the shared calendar and telling me if everything seems alright?” I try to give my voice an assertiveness I’m definitely not feeling.
“I’ve gone through it already. I didn’t see anything wrong.” From him, it’s almost a compliment.
About half an hour later, I’m alone again. I let out a long sigh, the tension leaving my body slowly. I hope things settle down soon because this isn’t a sustainable work environment.
And I have more important things to care about.
Like my date with Oli.
With every day that passes, this tension between Lex and me becomes a little worse. We both pretend the kiss never happened and ignore each other’s existence.
On the other end, Oli grows on me more and more with his gentleness, humor, and attentiveness… There’s something about him that soothes me, something that I crave lately.
