I look at the door where Oli stood moments ago, tears suddenly gathering in my eyes, blurring my vision. “Youknewhow scared I was about this. But you didn’t think of me! You didn’t even care. You let your absurd concerns about Oliver take over. When the others hear about us, what do you think will happen? They’ll question every opportunity I have had since starting this job. Selling my app to Kelex became the casualty of us having sex. Becoming the project leader, being in charge of the convention’s presentation… Everything I ever did is now irrelevant because you’ve been inside me. And you knew how I felt about that.”
My voice is ragged as tears roll down my cheeks one by one.
“Andrea, please,” he begs. “I didn’t plan for things to unfold like that. I lost control. I didn’t think.”
The weight of his words dawns on me. “You asked him to come up because you were going to tell him without my consent,” I state, understanding it was his plan. That’s why Oli barged in like this. Lex doesn’t answer, but the guilt on his face is all I need. “Lex, do you not see how wrong it would have been?”
He takes a step forward, and I take one back, keeping a safe distance between us. Everything in me wants to forgive him and pretend it never happened. But I’m not like that. I’m not a pushover that runs away from my issues.
“I couldn’t risk losing you,” he explains as if it can justify everything.
“I told you I wasn’t going anywhere! I begged you to trust me. You knew this was exactly what would chase me away,” I remind him, the resentment in my tone obvious even to me.
“Andrea, can you just listen to me?” he insists, reaching out to grab me.
“Don’t you dare touch me.” I raise a warning finger between us, quickly putting it back down when I see how much it trembles. “I can’t be near you right now,” I say, moving for the door.
“Andrea, please.”
“I need some time to think. Can you at least give me that, Alexander?”
The name is what stops him. He isn’t “Lex” or “baby” anymore. He’s back to being Alexander, and that brings sadness to his beautiful eyes.
Once I’m out of his office, I walk through the hallway as fast as I can. The pressure on my chest is so intense it makes breathing painful. Swiftly, I step into the restroom as I pass it and then push a door to enter one of the stalls.
An inevitable sob shakes my shoulders as I lock the door behind me. My sight blurs with tears, and my throat clenches so tightly I can’t breathe.
How could Lex do this to me? To us?
All I can think of are Kate’s words.
They’re perfect, kind, considerate, and charming. But then it shifts so slowly that you barely realize it.
Is this Lex shifting? Ishe revealing his true nature? The ruthless, dominant, and imperious control freak I fell in love with is indeed all that. I ignored the signs because he was never like that with me, but what if he was destined to become this all along?
The same kind of assholes Kate dates. The ones who are so perfect early on, only to turn into a controlling nightmare. I want Lex with everything I have, but not like this. Becoming the willing victim of an overbearing partner is out of the question. I can’t let my parents and friends watch me deteriorate into an empty shell of myself.
But as fucked up as what he did was, it’s not enough to counterbalance the happiness he brings into my life. I tasted bliss and love, and I can’t go through life without them. Withouthim.
So, he gets one more chance at this. Onelastchance, I promise myself.
We need to communicate, fix this, and move on with a healthier mindset. Lex has his insecurities—God knows I have mine—and I threw them back in his face, unwilling to listen to him. Yes, what he did was wrong, and his assumptions were incorrect. But I can only sympathize because I’d probably do some batshit crazy things to keep him.
Everything in me wants to go home, but leaving things like this with Lex might cause irreparable damage. Before the day ends, we’ll have a level-headed talk where feelings aren’t running high, and we aren’t shouting at one another—blood runs hot in Ibanez women.
The rest of the day is a hazy blur, my mind elsewhere. I skip lunch for lack of appetite, and when the guys notice my somber state, I tell them I have a nasty migraine. That isn’t entirely a lie since my head is pounding. In the Lair, Oli doesn’t look at me a single time, just as tense as I am. How long until the others know? How long until everyone thinks of me the same way Hugh did?Someone who sleeps around to succeed…
Lex respects my demand to have some time, so he doesn’t come down here, he doesn’t text, doesn’t call… I’m not sure if I like that or not. Part of me values that he’s mindful of my wishes, but another would appreciate it if he apologized and did whatever he could to fix his mess.
When five-thirty arrives, Oli’s the first to go, mumbling a vague “Goodbye,” and the rest soon follow. Once the guys are gone, I wait a little longer, mostly out of cowardice. My heart weighs a ton as I make my way upstairs. Nearly everyone’s gone by now, and I hope Lex remains true to himself and is working late. The ray of light under his door tells me he is.
I stare at the door for a while, trying to conjure the strength to knock on it. It’s ridiculous. I’ve been in Lex’s office on dozens of occasions and passed it countless times. I shouldn’t be scared by it, but I can’t help it.
I need to get in there and trigger the conversation that will fix us.
The first knock is weak, but the next two are firmer. His command to enter comes quickly, and I take a deep breath. Surely, we’ll have more work ahead of us, but this is the first step. The hardest one.
As soon as I push the door open, my eyes find him in the room, focused on whatever is on his screen. His gaze lifts from his task, and his concentration fades when he sees me. Instead, a slightly concerned look takes over for a split second before he conjures his stern, neutral expression. It’s been a while since he last used this one on me, and it stings.
