Air leaves my lungs as if he hit me in the guts. How does he know? Did he guess? Did they discuss this yesterday after I left Lex’s room in a hurry?
“I’m—I don’t know what you—”
“Save your breath. I’m not an idiot. You do whatever you want, but if you’d rather get a job that values you for your actual work rather than your bedroom skills, give me a call,” he coldly says, handing me his card.
I glare at it like it’s venomous and then at him. Who the fuck is he to say those things to me? When Hugh understands I won’t take his card, he slides it back into his chest pocket. “Whenever you aspire to be more than someone who sleeps around to succeed, you know where to find me,” he concludes, leaving me alone.
He has no idea what he’s talking about. I’m not sleeping with Lex to succeed, and he isn’t using his position to take advantage of me. We’re doing it because we can’t help it, because we need each other.
Someone bumps into me, taking me out of my thoughts. With a groan, I shake my irritation away. Hugh is a prick, and what he thinks doesn’t matter. But deep down, I know he won’t be the only one thinking I’m doing it to get somewhere professionally. For God’s sake, Kelex just bought my app for a lot of money.
What about my colleagues? They’re reasonable people, but I’m already leading a massive project shortly after getting the job. Shit, they’ll imagine things started before the sale or that Lex had me upstairs with him forthat. My professional image could be ruined by all this.
I feel like an empty shell of myself as I return to my chair before the second round starts. I should have thought about all this before we started having sex. I should have focused on the big picture rather than giving in because the dick was too good.
“Are you okay?” Lex whispers, sensing something’s off.
“Yeah, uh… We need to talk.” My seriousness apparently translates well because worry flickers in his eyes. “Can you drive me home tonight?” I ask.
He nods, still tense, and I offer a small smile to reassure him.
“Are we fine?” he whispers.
Still looking up at him, I give his thigh asmall, discreet squeeze. “Yes.”
I don’t want to break things off, but we must establish some ground rules. He’ll have an HR document to protect him from some potential scandal. But what will I have? What will protect me from the gossip, assumptions, and judging side-eyes?
Ican’t stop thinking about my brief talk with Hugh. It was like a harsh slap back to reality, and now I have to rethink everything.
Thankfully, I’m seated next to a sweet old lady who’s knitting a scarf on the flight home, and while I’m not sure about the color combination, I can’t help but appreciate the quality of her work. Watching the repeated motions and hearing the rhythmic sound of her needles is strangely relaxing. This quiet moment gives me the time I need to think about what I’ll tell Lex. My affair with him jeopardizes many things, and the more I think about it, the longer the list gets.
It’s dark, cold, and rainy when we exit the airport in Seattle, and I already miss San José. Brian doesn’t waste time wishing us a good Sunday and hops into a cab. Mace orders an Uber, and Steven tags along with him, since they live in the same area. Joseph’s mom is already waiting for him, so he quickly leaves, too.
“Since we’re going in the same direction, do you want to share a cab?” Oliver suggests. I glance at our boss, who’s checking something on his phone, and then back to Oli.
“Thanks, but I’m good. Someone’s picking me up.”
“At this hour? That’s one devoted friend.”
I wince, giving him a contrite smile. “Yes,heis quite devoted.”
Oliver’s amusement fades, and he frowns. “Oh… That’shim, right? The guy you’re seeing?”
I can sense Lex’s presence behind me, and I have no doubt he’s listening. Fighting the urge to comfort Oli, I nod. The hurt in his eye is evident, but I need him to understand I won’t be with him. We’re friends, and as much as I may have wanted us to work something out, I don’t want that anymore.
“Alright, then. Enjoy your Sunday. I’ll see you on Monday,” he concludes, waving awkwardly before heading to the line of cabs. I watch him get into one and wait for the car to disappear after a turn.
“So, I’m devoted, eh?”
I’m not in the mood forLex’s taunting. “Don’t. It’s hard enough that I keep hurting his feelings like this. I don’t need you to add to it.”
Lex recoils, confused. “So I guess everything isn’t fine between us.” He passes an irritated hand through his hair, his whole body tense.
“Oli is a friend, and I don’t like hurting him, that’s all.”
He raises a skeptical eyebrow at me, but doesn’t comment. “Let’s get you home.”
His Mercedes is in the parking lot, so we head there. He hauls our luggage in the trunk, and we’re on our way. After a few minutes of tense silence, I sigh heavily.
