“Fucking hell, that was fast,” he groans, pulling himself up.
He observes me for a few seconds, scanning my relaxed features in the darkness of the night, and then he gives me one last enamored kiss. I want to keep him on top of me, but we have one more thing to do before our mission is over. So, I let him pull out and roll to the side.
“Get my phone,” I demand, patting his chest lightly.
“Aye, aye.”
Jake fumbles in the bag for several seconds and then retrieves my phone from it. We settle together, plastered so close there isn’t a lick of space between our sweaty bodies, and he unlocks the screen himself.
“Can you believe it took us almost a year to get through your list?” he asks as he opens the browser.
“We took our time. And we did alotmore than what was on the list. Also, I was not having sex on a beach back home.”
“Could have done it right in front of your parents’ place in the Hamptons. Give them a private representation to show them why you chose me over them,” he jokes.
“Jacob, that is foul, even for you,” I retort with a laugh. I can feel my cheeks warming up at the mere thought of it, and for once, I’m glad he cannot see the blush. He’d think I secretly like the idea, which I do not.
Or at least, I don’t think I do.
“Okay, first question,” he very seriously starts. “Have you ever had the nastiest, naughtiest sex in your childhood bed as an adult?”
“We did the best we could on this one, so it counts as a ‘Yes,’” I say. He taps on the green checkmark, and we move on to the next question.
“Have you ever gone down on someone while pleasuring yourself?”
“Of course.”
“Have you ever had sex in a public place?”
“I don’t even want to count how many times because I might walk into a police station to surrender with a confession.”
We go over more questions, and to each one of them, I answer a resounding “Yes.” We allow ourselves one joker, which is when the threesome question comes. A few times now, I’ve taken both Jake and my vibrator simultaneously, so we decide it counts.
Then, the most important question arrives, and Jake beams as he reads it. “Have you ever tried a Jacob’s ladder or other genital piercings?”
“Hundreds of times.”
“Fuck yeah, you have.” Without even looking up at him, I know he’s smirking with pride.
I’m giddy with joy as we go over the rest, so incredibly proud of my progress in the eleven months I’ve known Jake. When he reads, “Have you ever had sex on a beach?” we high-five and check the “Yes” option again.
“Okay, are you ready for the result?” he asks once we’re done, barely containing his excitement.
I nod energetically, adjusting my position so we can read it together. He clicks on the last “Yes” and the result screen appears.
“Wow, you’re a ‘Yes’ person through and through, aren’t you?” Jake reads out loud. “You’re the ultimate go-with-the-flow master. You’ve got that can-do attitude that could conquer anything, even the quirkiest bedroom adventures. Your enthusiasm is unparalleled. You embrace every opportunity, and spontaneity is your middle name. You’ve probably turned mundane occasions into scandalously naughty moments. When it comes to life’s sexiest adventures, you’re the undisputed champion! There’s a lot you can teach to the rest of the world, so keep shining like a radiant ‘Yes’ beacon. We bow down to thee, you sex goddess!”
I’m smiling so hard that my cheeks hurt. “I’m a sex goddess,” I proudly say.
“You are. And I didn’t need a test to know that.”
“You’re biased because you love me.”
“Fair point, but I already felt that way before I fell in love with you.”
“What a clever man you are, wombat,” I amorously offer as a compromise before I lean in to kiss him.
He turns the phone’s screen off and tosses it somewhere on the blanket, and it’s just us and the stars again. I feel deliciously satiated, sensing our mixed pleasures between my legs as his hand grazes random swirls on my back. The sound of the waves mixes in with his heartbeat, and it lulls me into a state of pure contentment.
