Dear diary,
Today is my birthday, and it has been the best one of my life. I haven’t written in a few days, but it’s because so much has been happening. First of all, Mother and Father agreed to let Genny and I choose the destination for our next family vacation as one of our birthday gifts. I really want to go to Japan in the spring, to see the cherry blossoms. I’m sure I can convince my sister to agree to it. But that isn’t the best gift I received this year. On Friday, Odysseus asked me to meet under the football field’s bleachers before 6th period. I really didn’t know what to expect, but—
And the words stop there, the continuation of Vicky’s story forever lost. I’m full of hope when I look up at Penelope. Her eyes are glassy, her trembling hand covering her mouth.
“What happened under the bleachers?” I ask softly. Penny’s gaze meets mine, and just like Victoria that day, I don’t know what to expect. “Our parents barely did anything for us that year, so I know they weren’t the reason why it was the best birthday of her life,” I explain.
Penelope shakes her head, which gives me hope that she knows exactly what Vicky was talking about. “I knew it was her birthday that weekend. And I was way into those string bracelets I used to make. So I made one just for her and gave it to her. She asked if it was a friendship bracelet,” she recalls, smiling. “I told her it could be if she wanted, but it could also be a relationship bracelet. I finally confessed that I wished to be more than her friend if she was okay with that. Then I kissed her, and she kissed me back.”
My heart skips a beat and relocates to the back of my throat. Ever since her death, I’ve been convinced that Vicky never got to kiss someone she genuinely liked—a girl rather than a boy because it was expected of her. I remember those long conversations we had all the time, where I pushed her to embrace her nature and stop trying to conform to a norm she would never be happy with. Knowing she and Pen actually shared this moment changes everything.
“It was just supposed to be a peck,” Penelope continues. “But I think we liked each other more than we ever realized because we spent the entire period making out. We agreed to keep it a secret at first, but we were officially a couple. Your sister was my first real girlfriend,” Pen discloses with fondness. “Then, the next day, Saturday, we spent the entire afternoon together, doing it again.”
“I remember. She left because she had to meet with her study group at the library,” I say, surprised.
“Well, I was the study group, and the library was my bedroom.”
“Did you two…?”
Pen shakes her head. “It didn’t go that far. We did say ‘I love you’ to one another, though. Which sounds so silly now because it was so early, but we were teenagers with our own understanding of love.”
Penelope looks around the room, and I can see in her eyes that she was genuinely fond of my twin. When she spots something on the desk, I look in that direction while she approaches it. There’s a cardboard box that looks out of place, which contains Vicky’s belongings from the day of the accident. Pen picks up something small and colorful that’s sitting on top.
“This is the bracelet I made for her,” she explains, looking at it like she’s seeing a ghost.
“Really? I remember seeing her with it, but since she only had it for a couple of days, Mother figured it wasn’t sentimental, so she wasn’t buried with it. I’m so sorry, Penny. Had we known—”
“No, it’s fine. It was a secret, no one could have guessed.”
I reach for her to gently touch her shoulder. “Do you want to have it?” I offer.
“Could I?”
“Yeah, of course. It holds more value for you than it does for any of us, Pen. You deserve to have it.”
Her eyes are watery when she nods. “Even though we barely dated, your sister’s death really shook me, you know? It took me two years to finally take the leap and ask her out and then two days to lose her. I think we all have this idea that we’ll live forever when we’re that age, so that wrecked me.”
“I know, yes. I became non-verbal for an entire week, and then it took months for me to return to a semblance of normalcy.”
“I can’t imagine what it’s like losing a twin.”
“Like losing half of yourself.”
Pen offers me a small, compassionate smile and then looks at the bracelet again. “Do you really not mind?”
“Not at all. She would have wanted you to have it.”
Penelope nods, wipes away a stray tear from her cheek, and then moves to take me in a warm embrace. “Thank you, Genny.”
We hug for another few moments, and then she pulls away. “I should go back to my wife,” she says. “Thank you so much for the bracelet.”
“And thank you for the answers. Knowing she was loved and in love when she died changes everything.”
She gives me a small nod. “Let’s not wait another decade to meet again, okay?”
“Yes, I would love that, Pen.”
Penelope hugs me one last time and salutes me with a smile before heading out into the hallway. After a few seconds of confused uncertainty, I set the diary back in its place and walk up to the Polaroid board. For the first time since she died, this room feels different. I learned something new, even though I was sure there wasn’t anything I didn’t know about my sister.
