***
Walking through the door, the smell of lingering sweetness mixed with Lila’s addictive scent hits me hard enough to knock the tension out of my shoulders.
Box of desserts in hand, I glance over to see multiple containers of cookies sitting on the countertop. They beat me to it, it seems.
Something about that kicks up even more longing inside me. The smell of vanilla and melted chocolate makes the place actually feel like home. Really, I know it’s the two of them.
Astrid spots me, and just as I manage to put the box down along with the drinks, she comes barreling towards me, all smiles and endless energy.
“You’re home!”
“I am,” I chuckle, catching her mid-run and lifting her easily. I lift an accusatory brow at her. “How come you already look taller than you did this morning?”
She giggles, settled in my arms. “Mama said it’s because of the bread and cookies I eat.”
With a hum of amusement, I give her stomach a light poke. “Careful. You’ll turn into bread soon.”
Not believing me for even a second, she just laughs as I set her back down again before running off, busy with whatever she had been playing with on the floor. I watch as she goes, amused at the way she tears through the house like a little storm on legs.
Before, that fact might’ve irritated me. But now, it’s endearing. It makes the place feel more alive than it ever has.
My fury from earlier dissipates at the sight of Lila sitting on the couch with a dusting of flour still on her shoulder. Despite myself, I smile to myself.
She looks beautiful, even if she doesn’t know it. Even if she wouldn’t allow me to say the words out loud.
Then, glancing between me and the box of desserts on the counter, she lifts a brow. “It’s going to look like a bakery in here.”
I shrug and step closer. “Might as well add it to the collection.” Taking in the exhaustion in her eyes, I grin. “Rough day?”
Her expression turns deadpan. “Why, because Astrid convinced me we needed to bake three dozen cookies before noon? No, it was a perfectly normal day.”
At that, I huff out a laugh and lean against the back of the armchair. “Fair enough. You hungry?”
“For something other than dessert? Starving.”
“Good. We can order in. Your pick.”
Lila looks surprised by that, but she doesn’t refuse. Instead, she considers the offer, and her lips twitch in the slightest smile.
A subtle warmth settles in my chest then.
The iciness is still there, but in a way, it doesn’t feel quite as cold as it did yesterday. Even if I still have a long way to go, I can work with that.
From a young age, I was taught how to be patient, and in the military, I learned how to master it. Progress doesn’t happen overnight, regardless of how badly I want it to, especially with something as precarious and fragile as this.
The complicated tangle I’ve found myself caught up in with Lila is no different, and for her, I’ll wait as long as it takes.
Chapter 15 - Lila
The last while has been surprisingly nice with the amount of uninterrupted time I’ve had with Astrid. Between the lazy mornings where she curls up against me, the afternoons spent thinking about nothing but coloring and stacking blocks on the floor, and evenings where her laughter warms the house, it’s something I didn’t realise I needed.
Back when it was just the two of us, I spent most days worrying about how I was parenting her, or if she was getting enough of my attention outside of work. Even if I was able to bring her with me to the homes I helped in, it wasn’t exactly the one-on-one time she needed. Not to mention, I was afraid the others would see something they shouldn’t have, which would cause even bigger problems for the two of us.
Now, even Astrid feels more at ease. To her, this is like paradise.
Still, as gentle a pace as it has been, I’m feeling restless.
It started subtle, but over time, it’s only getting worse.
