“Come for me, my love,” he whispered, his voice feeling like a silent command.
I burst all over him completely, my pussy tightening around his cock. He moaned but kept on thrusting, making me near yet another climax. He kept going until both of us were finally on the brink, and without any further waiting, we orgasmed at the same time, our bodies melting into one another’s.
If there was one thing I knew with quiet certainty, it was that I loved this man.
I loved him more than life itself.
But I couldn’t tell that to him right now.
So I kissed him instead, pressed my forehead to his as he held me in the tremors that overtook our bodies with theintensity of our orgasms, and let the moment swallow itself whole.
***
Two days later, I stood in the hallway of the safe house with my jacket halfway on and my heart beating a little too fast for my liking. I wasn’t sure if I should do this, but it would be the first step toward feeling normal again. Avgust wanted me to feel that I wasn’t trapped, which meant I needed to stop being scared of going out alone.
“Going somewhere, my dear?”
Marta stood near the kitchen doorway, a dish towel slung over her shoulder, watching me with mild curiosity rather than suspicion.
“Just for a walk,” I said. “I need some air.”
She nodded immediately, too easily, as if going out all alone was the most natural thing for me to do. “You have been rather pale lately. A little sun will do you a world of good.”
I hesitated. “Avgust—”
“Is out,” she finished gently. “He said we should not be expecting him back until evening.”
Of course, he had. I had forgotten all about it in my own contemplation, even though he had told me before he was leaving. He was going out to meet his brothers for some work and had asked me if I wanted to come along, but I had been painting.
I forced a smile, finally coming to a decision. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Take your time,” she said, already turning back to her work.
That was the entire problem. I did not want time. I wanted distance. I wanted to feel like myself again, but did not know how.
Outside, the air felt different. It was sharper, louder, and real in a way the safe house wasn’t. The safe house had become a home for me, but wherever I turned, I saw Avgust. Avgust taking care of me, helping me feel better, being there for me, or holding me. Avgust bringing me food or asking me if I needed anything. His care for me was becoming all-consuming rather quickly, and I did not know what to do about it. It was overwhelming in the best way possible, but I needed to breathe.
I walked with no direction in mind, letting my feet decide. The landscape was starkly different during the day, especially when I stuck to the main roads instead of running into the forest. I walked past quiet streets and a woman watering her plants. She smiled at me like I belonged there. A little boy rode past me on a bike, nearly ran into me, and laughed instead of apologizing.
“Sorry!” he called.
“It’s okay!” I said, surprised by how steady my voice sounded.
I kept walking, every step feeling like a rebellion and betrayal.
I loved him.
The realization sat in my chest like a weight and a spark all at once. I loved a man who lived in shadows and killed without hesitation. A man who wrapped violence around himself like armor and yet managed to look at me like I was something worth protecting, even from himself. I didn’t know how toreconcile this with the knowledge of my betrayal of him. I didn’t know how to love him without destroying everything that had happened between us.
It felt as if anything I might do would crumble the foundation we stood on.
I wanted to tell him the truth. But how?
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I fetched it out.
It was Avgust.
For a moment, I considered ignoring it and letting it ring into silence, the distance between us stretching even further. But I decided against it. I did not want to worry him only to have him come looking for me. That would ruin things. I picked up the call.
