“I have to get him in a Pull-Up,” Charlotte says, resting her hand on my back as she leans around me to peek at him.
“I should have thought of that,” I whisper, stepping out of her way.
“Give me just one minute. Don’t leave.” She kneels next to his bed and smiles at me over her shoulder.
I nod, wondering if I was out of line to carry him up here without asking. I thought I was taking the initiative in showing I’m not afraid to help with his day-to-day care, but perhaps I overstepped.
Charlotte gets him into the diaper, tosses his underwear and pants on the floor near the bed, tucks him in, kisses his forehead, and makes her way to the attached bathroom.
The water turns on, and I assume she washes her hands.
I linger near the doorway, preparing my apology speech. It doesn’t take long for her to appear at my side, and she links her hand in mine, dragging me from Lucky’s room. We head down the hallway into the pack bedroom, and she kicks the door closed behind her.
“Thank you for all the books.” Her hands land on my hips, and she backs me toward the pack bed.
My head tilts, and my glasses slide down my nose.
I shove them up again and say, “Of course. I hope you find a few that you like. I picked up some of my favorites and a few recommendations I found online.”
“They’re from you. I’m going to love them.” She gives me a solid shove, and my knees hit the edge of the bed.
I wobble, trying to keep myself up, but it clicks that she wants me lying down, so I let my back fall to the mattress. My legs hang off the edge of the bed, and my hands move to cradle her waist as she climbs on top of me.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped by bringing Lucky upstairs without asking,” I say, clearing my throat. Her matching pajama top has ridden up, and I brush my thumbs over the soft skin of her abdomen. “I only wanted to show you that I’m available to help take care of him.”
“No need to apologize,” she whispers, leaning over me. “I thought it was sweet. I hope you know how much I appreciate you, Cormac.” Her hair falls around my face as she leans down to kiss me.
My glasses push into my cheek, but it’s only a minor inconvenience.
I smile as she pulls back to breathe. “That was a nice surprise.”
She laughs. “This will be even better then.” She moves to grab the bottom of her pajama top.
I rest my hands over hers, stopping her from pulling the material up. “You don’t need to have sex with me to thank me for your gifts or looking after Lucky.” The expression that crosses Charlotte’s face leaves me very sure I shouldn’t have said that.
“Okay…”
“I want to care for you in all ways, but I don’t believe I’ll ever have the same level of sexual needs that my brothers have. That’s not to say I wouldn’t be open to giving you whatever you need. I am always available for you. I just don’t want you to think that you need to be sexually available to keep me happy.” I nod, smiling and hoping she understands what I’m trying to convey. “I would be just as happy cuddling you to my chest as we talk or nap together.”
Charlotte’s head wobbles kinda side to side and eventually up and down. “Okay, that almost left me feeling self-conscious, and I’m not sure why, because I understand what you’re trying to say.” Her teeth dig into her lower lip, and she thinks for a few seconds before she speaks again. “Do you enjoy kissing?”
“Yes, with you, I do.”
“Did you feel pressured to have sex with me?”
I hum. “No, not in the way you’re concerned about. I wanted to try it, and I want to continue being intimate in a variety of ways moving forward. I may have put some pressure on myself to hurry things along because I didn’t want to be left behind, but that had nothing to do with you.”
Charlotte’s face softens. “I understand what you mean more than you know. Okay, would you like to cuddle with me while I try to get in a quick nap before Lucky wakes up?”
“I do.” I stand and wrap my arm around her lower back. She falls against my chest as I relocate us to lie on the bed up by the pillows. I pull the blanket over her back as her cheek rests against my pec. It takes a bit of focus, but I get the hang of purring faster this time than any before. Perhaps it’s one of those skills that needs to be exercised for it to become easier. “I’m afraid I may have mucked things up between us. I do want a sexual relationship with you. I want you to be my wife, with all the things that come along with that.”
“You haven’t messed anything up. I promise.” She runs her fingers over my chest, which is comforting, but I’m not sure I believe her.
I likely should have just kept my mouth shut.
Fucked her.
Bitten her.
