Malachy’s chest rattles, and a ragged, underused purr vibrates out.
I gasp, moving my hand from his side, up to run over the sound. He has more hair than I thought I would be attracted to, but it works for him. It’s soft against my fingertips, and I bet his beard would be equally as relaxing to tease my fingers through.
“Thanks, Mal,” I say, keeping my voice low to avoid waking Lucky.
“Always, sweet girl,” he says. I don’t really love any nicknames withgirlin it afterCandy Girl, but it also feelscompletely different when Malachy sayssweet girl. “Just relax. Nothing is going to get the two of you with me standing in the way.” He sounds so sure, and I ache to believe him.
I just happen to know firsthand how ruthless the Jacksonville Demons are. I wasn’t even with them for a year, and I turned into someone I didn’t recognize.
“I’m here and waiting whenever you’re ready to tell me what you’re running from…” He continues murmuring words of comfort and reassurance.
My eyes ache, and I clench them shut.
I’m not sure any of them would be so quick to want to protect me if they knew what I was capable of. I doubt Malachy would even want to be this close to me, so I keep my mouth firmly shut and breathe in his electric scent. Who knows how much longer I’ll even have access to it?
The next time I wake up, I’m hot and achy. My eyes burn, and it feels like the beginning of coming down with the flu. It takes three seconds of mentally debating whether Lucky got me sickagainfor me to realize I don’t remember taking my suppressants yesterday.
I was so caught up in the panic after waking up to find Lukas missing that I didn’t even pee before running downstairs. Hell, I didn’t even bother with a bra. I spent plenty of time last night worrying what a weirdo I looked like. Though, I’m sure any mother would have an equal reaction to waking up to find her child missing.
Jesus.
Did I even remember to grab my suppressants out of the bathroom in my apartment?
I roll over, preparing to toss myself off the side of the bed, but I roll onto Malachy’s stomach.
I think I fucked up big time. I’m going to have to ask him to go to my apartment to retrieve my suppressants.
By the time I make it out of the bathroom, the alpha in question sits up against the headboard.
“Where’s Lucky?” I ask, tilting my head.
“He woke up at the crack of dawn,” Malachy says, chuckling. “Made it halfway to the bathroom before he looked at me and let me know his diaper was leaking. I got him settled in the bathroom, gave him a wet washcloth to clean up and came out to scavenge for some of his clothes. I found underwear, socks, and pants. So, I’ll be honest, he’s still in his pajama shirt, but he was dressed and wide awake.”
“Okay,” I say, trying to make sense of what he’s saying with the pounding in my temples.
Lucky doesn’t wear diapers anymore. He only wears Pull-Ups when he sleeps, but I guess maybe Malachy doesn’t know the difference.
Mal holds out his arms, and I feel a little like Lucky as I dash across the room, climbing onto his outstretched form. My face comes to rest against his chest, and if I’m not seriously careful, I’m going to break my own heart when it’s time for us to leave.
“Anyway, the lad was hungry.” Malachy rests his hands on my lower back, and I’m obsessed with the way his arms cradle my sides. “Initially, I planned to take him to Cormac, but I forgot he was up as late as I was. Fortunately, Patrick popped out of his bedroom before I could knock.”
“You pawned my kid off on your asshole brother?” I ask, unsure if I should laugh or be concerned.
“I had a late night myself, and I needed another hour or two of sleep. Not to mention, the thought of climbing back into bed next to you was too appealing to resist.” He chuckles. “Ahh, ya know. I’ll agree, Patrick is a right dick at times, but he’s also loyal to a fault to those he cares about. I assure you, he’s more than capable of feeding Lukas and keeping an eye on him until Miriam gets in.”
“It’s still not their responsibility.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard the sayingit takes a village.” He rubs circles over my lower back. “The end of the world won’t come if you give yourself a little grace. Being a parent isn’t easy, if you have support. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be trying to manage everything on your own.”
My heart thumps against my ribs as his words hit me right in the chest. I’m not an overly emotional person by nature, and it makes me wonder if the walls I’ve put up to keep myself safe are finally crumbling.
When something hurts, I build a little box around it and bury it deep enough that I can pretend it doesn’t exist. If I don’t think about it, the pain can’t eat me alive. It’s highly effective, even if I’m a therapist’s dream because my issues alone could fund their retirement.
My face pops off Malachy’s chest as another thought strikes. “I forgot my suppressants. I normally take them twice a day, but I missed yesterday entirely and the night before.”
Malachy’s head tilts, and he pulls a hand off my back to bring it to my cheek. “You are warm. I thought it was from being under the covers. Are you feeling all right?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I woke up achy, and my head is pounding. Ireallyneed those pills. Without them…”
