Now it’s my turn to say, “No. I’ll talk to him.”
“But…”
“I said I’ll talk to him. I don’t need you fighting my battles for me, Asher. Believe it or not, I’ve spent the last ten years of my life alone, so believe me when I tell you this is something I can handle myself, okay? If I say I can do it, I can do it.” A bit harsh, maybe, but being harsh seems to be the only way to get it through to him.
He takes a single step back from me, and for a split second, he looks as though I just plunged a knife in his heart, but that expression fades into one of acceptance soon enough. “Okay, but if you need me for backup, you know I’m here for you.”
Sure, I want to say,you’re here for me now, but you weren’t back then.
What changed? Is it just because we got older? Is it because we weren’t in school anymore, so there was no peer pressure to ostracize the girl whose parents died? What makes him want to play the hero now when he could hardly look at me back then?
We used to be so close. We were best friends. We traded lunches. We sat next to each other on field trips. We even joked, way back when, that we’d end up in the same pack together, that we always wanted to be best friends.
Course, being in the same pack together as an alpha and an omega now means something totally different, something we’re both well aware of.
Maybe he did change, or maybe I did. It doesn’t matter in the end. We aren’t who we used to be. Those kids were gone, dead and buried along with my parents, and they’d never come back. It was something that took me years to accept, and up until now, I thought I was fine with it.
But standing here, face-to-face with Asher, makes everything rise to the surface in ways I’m not comfortable with.
So, instead of saying all that, I settle for telling him, “I’ll let you know if I need you.” And then I head inside the house, because I fear if I stay out there with him, my thoughts might wander a bit too far.
I don’t go right to Mason to chat. No, I figure I’ll let him cool off and give myself some time to cool off, too. Whatever kind of magic spell that alpha put on me before? I will not let a repeat scenario ensue. Now that I know what to expect, I can mentally prepare myself for it.
I still don’t really know what happened back there. I don’t get it.
It’s not like I could smell his pheromones or anything. Alphas never affect me like that. The closest thing to that I’ve experienced is back at the Omega Garden, at my last hurrah, with that Rourke guy.
My damn body had a mind of its own and reacted accordingly. I’d hate myself for it if I wasn’t so annoyed at Mason.
I spend a few hours in my temporary room. How I wish I could see what my aunt is doing right now, if she’s freaking out. I bet she is. I bet she was beside herself the moment she realizedI wasn’t home and that my car was gone. She probably contacted the local authorities right away, and I have to assume they found my car and my phone at the park.
But then I have a hard time imagining what she did next.
How helpless she must feel. Frankly, she deserves every ounce of that helplessness. It’s only a taste of what it’s like to be an omega these days. We might say we have agency over our own decisions, but ultimately we don’t. If our parents or guardians feel strongly about something, they can still force us to join a pack we don’t want to be a part of.
I don’t feel bad for bringing this upon her. Really, I should’ve been aware of that will a long time ago. It should be my choice whether to match with a pack before my first heat, not hers. She’s gotten so much out of my family’s wealth, lived a life of luxury even after my uncle died, that she doesn’t deserve to mooch off it any more.
There will be no love lost between us once things come full circle and I go back home. I’m prepared to do this, to go through my first heat alone, all to prove a point and be petty as hell.
And then, when I go back and the specifics of that will come to light? I’ll take my family’s wealth as my own and kick my aunt to the curb. I’ll be the one living in our house, not her. I’ll have more than enough money to take care of myself.
I could live and die alone. A sad thought, but it’s how I spent the last ten years of my life, so it doesn’t really sound that crazy to me.
When it’s time to go speak with Mason, I apply a fresh layer of the scent-blocking cream. I made sure to rile myself up with thoughts of my aunt on purpose; hopefully I’ll be so lost in my anger toward her that my body won’t have a chance to react to his über alpha-ness.
Who needs an über? Not me.
I leave my room and venture through the house in search of his. Truth be told, I don’t really know where his room is; I don’t think it’s near mine or Asher’s. It takes me a while to find it—and it’s not by either of ours. It’s downstairs, in a far corner of the house. The door is shut.
Hmm. Should I knock, or just go in? I suppose it would be nice to knock, but does this alpha deserve any niceties? Eh.
I decide to simply go in, and when I do, I find the alpha sitting on the edge of his bed, his back toward the door. He’s hunched over, still wearing the jacket and shoes he wore when he and Asher were trying to find me. It’s like he didn’t move at all since storming away, and when I enter, he doesn’t so much as glance over his shoulder to see who I am.
“What you did earlier wasn’t cool,” I say, rooted where I stand, just inside his room, with the door hanging ajar. I’m not sure where Asher is, but even with the door open, the house is large enough to give us some privacy.
Though I can’t see his face, I imagine Mason rolling his eyes, something to wordlessly voice his displeasure at my comment—or possibly show how he doesn’t give a shit about what I think. An alpha like him, I bet he never cares about what other people think. It’s how lone wolves tend to operate.
They think they’re all badass and shit, when in reality they’re pretty pathetic. If you can’t have friends, if you’re not part of a small pack, then what good as an alpha are you? Not one that should be trusted with omegas. Pack dynamics are an important part of life not only when you’re an omega, but also when you’re an alpha.
