“You are finally asking the right question,” he said.
His presence overcame me. The gentle waves that I had come to identify as him touched my skin like an ocean breeze on a cool night.
There was something else as well—something I couldn’t identify.
“You know, don’t you?” he asked.
I tried to keep myself from trembling as his hand touched mine.
“You know what courses through your veins,” he said, tracing his fingers up my wrist, highlighting the blue line running up my forearm. “I want you to understand, but you must unlock it yourself. There is a way to try to force the lock. I will not tell you what to do, but there is a barrier holding you back. A barrier that is keeping you from what you desire. Sometimes the best way in is to force your way to your deepest emotions," he said, letting his hand fall away.
A shiver of fear crystallized down my spine at how he seemed to read my thoughts.
"And what does that mean?"
“You need to delve deep into your most traumatic memories, to feel them, to live them once again,” he said.
I was shaking my head. “No. I won’t.”
“Anna, going there is necessary if you want to?—”
“No,” I whispered, tightly shutting my eyes.
A silence spread between us as I tried to think of anything besides that night. I was too close to it now. If it drew me in deeper, I would fall into the darkness I’d let in and if I did, I might never find my way out.
A cool touch made my eyes snap open.
It was Blake, his hand on my cheek.
“Okay,” he said gently.
The anxiety was receding and the ground was stable again. I was here, in his room, with him. Not anywhere near that darkness. He didn’t move his hand away. Looking into Blake’s eyes was like looking into a steel blade.
“There are other ways to trigger extreme emotional responses,” he said, his cadence smooth and careful.
I raised my eyebrows, and his hand trailed away from my cheek. My nerves were working against me, and I had never beenso aware of Blake’s presence. It was all-consuming and radiating through me. He was watchful, drinking in every detail, rendering me motionless.
“What are you trying to draw out of me?” I whispered.
He gently grasped my forearm and tugged, and I was forced to step toward him. “Why is it hard for you to accept that it is not something I can explain?”
This energy pulsing between us was growing, but that wasn’t all it was. Everything was drawing me to him. The touch of his skin on mine, the way he parted his lips to breathe. He was breathing more heavily than usual. I pulled myself from his grasp, ready to leave, but it was as if my body were pulling me to him. I didn’t want to go. Every part of me wanted to close the space between us. It was a terrifying feeling and not rational at all, and it was beginning to take over my mind. My one moment of hesitation was all it took.
He let go of me, and I instantly felt the loss of warmth.
“What do you suggest I do?” I whispered.
He moved behind me, his lips brushing the side of my head and the hardness of his chest grazing my back. I trembled at how close he was. Frustrated, I turned to face him. His eyes were flecked with a silver I’d never noticed before. There was no mistaking what it meant. It was getting harder to breathe. I wanted to know—not just what was going on, not just about who I was and why my life was what it was—but about him. I wanted to know what he tasted like. Why I couldn’t breathe when he looked at me. What it felt like when he touched me.
“Come to me,” he whispered, his lips a hair’s breadth from my ear, “and I will do the rest.”
I quivered beneath his lips. His request was unexpected and as refreshing as it was enticing. He was giving me the power—the power to say no.
But that was the last thing I wanted.
I turned my head, letting my cheek trail across his lips until mine grazed his. Feeling him so close drew his energy toward me in waves as it flooded my veins, coursing through me. It was like a drug. Whatever he was, it couldn’t be human—no person felt like this. I drew his bottom lip to mine, gently kissing him, desperate to have more but unsure what to do next.
I leaned closer, and a deep murmur escaped his lips. Nervous, I pulled back. When I looked up at him, his eyes were dark. I could’ve peered into them for eternity.
