“We didn’t ask for this life,” he whispered. “We were born into it. And the only way out is through death. Sometimes, in the Bratva…you carry certain burdens alone.”
I blinked back the tears swelling again. “Like the issue with my father,” I murmured.
He nodded slowly.
“Like your father. About a year and a half ago, I was overwhelmed…so I began drinking shortly after Ninel was kidnapped. I was terrified we’d lose her.”
I gasped.
“That’s how I missed what your father was doing. I was going down a road and couldn’t see a way out.”
“But you found a way out. You don’t drink. Even if there’s alcohol in the house. At least, I’ve never seen you touch it.”
“I found a way out thanks to my siblings and the understanding that if I go down that road, I wouldn’t only ruin my life, but those of my siblings, our family legacy, and every alliance we have.”
I wished my father had understood how his actions, past and present, affected me.
“You’re lucky to have them,” I said softly. “I wish I had siblings to lean on when Mom got sick…when she passed.”
Avit continued, “I am. And yes, I don’t drink anymore. Not even socially. I can’t risk tempting the demon I’m trying to keep at bay. My discipline has to be stronger than my addiction. Only the strong survive in our world.”
Was I strong enough to survive in his world?
I sighed. “Thank you.” I turned my attention back to Mom’s grave. “For bringing me here. For letting me see her.”
“You're welcome.”
We stayed a little longer. In that quiet, with his arms around me, I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have a real marriage with Avit, to wake up in his warmth every day.
“Do you want to bake a cake with me?” I blurted.
He glanced down at me, his expression unreadable. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“It comes with ice cream and a movie,” he winked.
I smiled despite the lingering sadness. “I’ll see what I can do. Let’s go.”
Walking to the car, it was the first time in days I felt like a semblance of myself again. And I knew it was because of the man beside me.
What I didn’t know was whether he would always stay there.
…Or if I even wanted him to.
Chapter 11 - Avit
Lev’s eyes lifted from his laptop, at the head of the table, to mine. “I’m not one to pry…”
We had just finished another deal with our allies in New York in an online meeting. Jaroslav, Marten, and Pyotr sat around the conference table at the headquarters as well.
I leaned back in my chair. “But you’re going to.”
He pushed his laptop aside and leaned forward, locking his fingers together. “Now that we know you're married…why are you still hiding Sienna? And why are you still MIA at family gatherings?"
Of course he asked. And because they’re my brothers, they think they’re entitled to answers. Normally, they are.
But not this time.
