In that split second, there was power—the power to provoke, to unsettle, to revel in the pandemonium I was born to inflict.
I took another heavy gulp of fae whiskey, knowing that alcohol was always supposed to be a temporary balm for my wounded pride, but it turned into a permanent companion in the solitude of my life.
For the first time since I took that first drink, I felt myself drawn. I was drawn to the prospect of feeding off of Gravesend’s chaos.
I raised the bottle to my lips once more and drank deeply, letting the fire consume me if only to forget—for now.
21
REED
The soft glow of the candles placed strategically around Darkmore’s office bathed the room in a cozy light, casting flickering shadows on the map of Kalista that hung on the wall behind his desk.
I fidgeted with the bottom of my shirt, glancing around the room as I avoided Darkmore’s gaze.
The weight of my silence loomed between us.
“Nyx, you checked yourself into this academy for a reason. Youwantto overcome this. Now, I understand that you have trauma surrounding entering others’ dreams to feed your magic reserves,” Darkmore spoke, his tone gentle yet probing.
I hesitated, the words catching in my throat for a beat. “It’s not just aboutfeedingon the dreams.It's about losing myself in them. Once I’m in someone else’s dream, I’m at the mercy of their whims. I can interact, interject myself, but I can’tcontrol.”
He nodded, giving me his full attention as he leaned back in his chair. “Control is hard to let go of, especially when feeding is involved.”
“It is.” My voice broke as I remembered the last time I’d entered someone’s dream and gave up the control. It had been my father’s dream, and everything was fine that night—normal. I used to bounce around my parents’ dreams to fill my reserves, but…I’d been naive to the brutal reality of entering someone else’s dreams.
The next morning, Dad didn’t wake up.
“Tell me about your parents,” Darkmore suggested, clearing his throat and grabbing his tablet to type on. “Just the basics, for now.”
“My mom’s a human, and my dad was a dream demon like me.” My shoulder came up in a half shrug. “There’s not much to tell.”
“Did they have a good relationship?” he asked.
My lips curved into a slight smile as I nodded. “The best I’ve seen. They were fated mates.”
“Would you say they were good parents?”
“The greatest,” I murmured, thinking back to how attentive and loving they’d been to me.
We’d even had a weekly game night for just us.
“But something happened when you were only a kid,” he prodded. “What changed?”
“When I was eleven,” I corrected him, squeezing the hem of my shirt. “Dad died visiting the dreams of a guy from his work to feed. He did that sometimes. Just visited a random demon’s dreams. But the guy was having a nightmare, I assume, at least. Nobody knows, really. It’s what the guy had said. Anyway, Dad never woke up. There was so much blood when Mom stirred from her sleep next to him. He’d had his heart cut out,” I choked out. “Weneverfound his heart.”
Darkmore's expression softened as he stopped typing and set the tablet aside. "That's a heavy burden for a child to carry," he murmured, but he didn’t hold the same pity in his expression that others did when they found out. "And now you fear the same fate for yourself."
I swallowed hard. "Every time I close my eyes and eventhinkabout slipping into someone else's dream, there's this pit in my stomach telling me that it might be the last thing I do."
Darkmore leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "Have you considered inviting someone new into your dreamscape instead? Perhaps someone you trust?"
My mind immediately went to Pandora andthe time we’d already spent together within my dreamscape. Fates, she looked so happy sitting on the shore with the waves lapping at her legs.
"I already have," I murmured, the image of that small, genuine smile on her lips making my heart skip a beat, though I couldn't understand why just yet.
“Who have you invited into your dreamscape since your father passed?”
“My mom, up until I became friends with my best friend, Charlotte. After Dad died, Mom didn’t feel like doing anything, and she said she’d rather have her own dreams because she saw Dad there.” I swallowed the bitter feelings on my tongue. “They were fated mates, so I try to understand. Since starting here, I recently had someone else in my dreamscape.” My cheeks heated as I thought of Pandora.
