“It quite literallyismy business,” he stated simply. “You’re not worthless. I know that much for a fact.”
Without another word, I staggered out of his office, the door swinging shut behind me with a loud thud.
Fuck feelings. I just wanted to drown them away with alcohol like I always had.
37
PANDORA
Everyone was scared of me.
My heart thrummed anxiously as I stood in the center of Serpentine Stadium, the sandstone walls echoing with the whispers of my classmates. A thin layer of sand, like powdered bone and ash, coated my boots—a sick reminder of what the infected demon’s body turned into when I was done with it.
My hair—my shield—fell protectively around me, hiding me away as much as it could from the fearful gazes that followed my every move. I couldfeeltheir eyes on me, their terror was a tangible thing, and it made my scars itch beneath my clothes and the wrap around my thigh.
“Alright, class,” Ashenfell's voice was hesitant, a rare crack in the professor's usually confident tone. “We will continue working oncontrolduring feeding. Remember, demonic feeding is aboutfinesse, notforce.”
My eyes flicked to Ashenfell. I could see it in him—the fear. It was the same fear that had been reflected in my mother’s eyes just before I devoured her soul, a fear that was present even when I was chained up. It was the fear of what I could do, of the death smoke that curled from my lips, and the power to consume souls.
Nobody was afraid of Daryl like this…not in the same way, at least. They feared him and respected him for what he could do with sharp precision. They feared me because of what I could do without control.
I wrapped my arms around myself as Ashenfell's gaze lingered on me. I had no desire to feed, not when the control of my power felt as fleeting as a shadow in the desert sun. Besides, my magic reserves were filled up, and I didn’t have the need to feed.
Skel’s green eyes darted to me as he swept a tongue over his bottom lip. “My reserves are fucking overfilling. So, unless everyone wants their fears tormenting them, I’m out. Thanks, princess.” He winked at me before making a hasty exit.
I flinched at his nickname for me, the word 'princess' laced with sarcasm that stung. It was areminder of how I was viewed by him—something different, something to be wary of.
After the class dispersed, a silence fell over the stadium, leaving me to be led to the closet alone with Ashenfell and the training dolls, their artificial souls a pale imitation of the real thing. I could barely sense them.
“You need to try, Gravesend,” Ashenfell urged, though his voice was devoid of its usual sternness, “You can't starve yourself. It's dangerous.”
“I’m not. I’ve already eaten, and my magic reserves are full.” My fingers twitched at my side, and a flicker of black danced across my vision—the color my eyes turned when my powers surged.
Ashenfell flinched. “I’ll be back when class is over.”
“I'm scared,” I admitted, my voice a rasp, a testament to the damage done to my vocal cords.
“Well, fear is normal. Justtry.Practice. I’ll be back.” With a nod, he shut me in the dimly lit room, the sound of the turning key a chilling echo of my past.
I was locked away again.
Instead of being rattled with panic and fear, I focused on the dolls, trying to call forth the magic within me, but it refused to come.
You’re fine, Pandora. Breathe.
Frustration bubbled up, hot and fierce, and Ilet out a choked noise of exasperation. My attempts were useless, and with each failure, the fear of being chained again, of being trapped, clawed at my insides.
My eyes were black, I could feel the magic thrumming through me, and I could sense the dolls’ souls. But my power wouldn’t manifest.
Time passed, the minutes stretching into what felt like an eternity until Ashenfell returned, his expression softening as he opened the door. “You can go, Gravesend. Any progress?”
I shook my head, feeling my eyes switch back to my regular color.
“We'll try again next time.”
I didn't meet his eyes as I ducked around him, my steps carrying me swiftly out into the stadium.
Reed, the only student left, waited for me, his presence a quiet, heart-warming comfort.
