“Literally.” He paused and stepped closer. “I have that same night terror every other night. It was hard losing the only other survivor I had around, but his blood caked on me is something I canstill feel.”
“I wish I could do something.”
“You already have. I’ve not even told Micah or Nathan yet, and somehow telling you, I feel better.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“I’ll always listen to you,” I promised, and itkilledme not to wrap my arms around him.
His gaze dropped down to my lips, and he bit down on his lip. “Can I try something?”
“Anything.”
“Will you brush your teeth and wipe your mouth off?”
I arched my brows but nodded and moved around him to the sink. Grabbing my toothbrush out of its plastic baggie, I used the toothpaste and brushed my teeth more thoroughly than I think I’d ever done before.
“Here.” He handed me a cloth, and I used it to wash my face and lips before rinsing and drying.
I turned to face him, and his face had paled. “Calix?”
“I desperately want to kiss you, but I don’t know if…”
“You don’t have to,” I told him firmly, tightening my fist to stop myself from reaching out and touching him. “I’ll still like you no matter what.”
“And that just makes me want to even more.” His eyes had darkened as he stared at my lips. “Let me touch you. Let me kiss you, but please, don’t touch me back.”
I threaded my fingers together and kept my hands in front of me. “I won’t touch you.”
He sucked in a hitched breath before leaning in so slowly, I thought I’d pass out from the anticipation. His warm, soft lips covered mine, and my body flooded with belonging.
Every part of me wanted to tug him closer, but I kept my hands pressed against my body to avoid it.
He slowly moved his lips against mine, and I followed his lead. His fingertips trailed down my cheek as he pressed three long, tender kisses to my lips and pulled back. “That was my first kiss, and I never thought I’d be able to do that.”
“But you did, and it was perfect,” I whispered, and he pulled back.
My heart ached at the way he moved back, but I understood why he did it. Kissing was ahugestep, and I would take that win and bask in it for days from now.
“Let me walk you to bed,” he murmured, and my body jolted as my bladder prodded at me.
“I have to use the toilet first. I forgot I had woken up to pee.” My face streaked with heat, and he shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you wait.” He stepped out. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”
I nodded and shut the door behind me. I let out a long breath as reality hit me. I’d kissed Calix, and his lips wereso soft.
Pushing down my excitement, I used the bathroom and made sure to properly clean it before washing my hands and opening the door.
Calix stood with sweats, a shirt, and a mask back on.
A small pang of disappointment stabbed at me, and I tried to brush it away as he led me back to the bedroom and paused at the doorway.
“I will work on having you come into my space, but I’m not there yet.” He tugged at his collar, and I shook my head with a small smile.
“Take your time, Calix. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good night, honey. Sleep well,” he murmured, leaning closer as if he wanted to kiss me again and then turning on his heels back to his room.
My chest swelled with a buzzing warmth as I slid in between Micah and Nathan.
