Hunter would drink himself into a stupor. We were two years apart. I followed him around like a baby duck, wore his clothes, and annoyed the fuck out of him growing up. I could still remember the look on his face after he’d performed CPR on me when I’d drowned. He was a mess forweeks, and I was the one that had died. Hunter stuck to my side like glue, and when I took bubble baths, he’d camp outside the door like a creep, asking if I was alive every five seconds. I couldn’t fucking imagine whatthishad been doing to him.
Dean wouldn’t stop looking until he found my body. He was practical, so I was sure he’d accepted I was long dead with the evidence they’d found, but he’d want to give me a proper burial. He was five years older than me, so we weren’t as close as Hunter and I were, but we were still close. He was over-protective in the way only an older brother could be. Corbin was his best friend, and when we’d started dating, Dean was furious, putting on the big brother act like a champ. He thought Corbin was too old for me but eventually came around when he realized how serious Corbin was about us.
A twinge of pain pierced my heart. Corbin was sweet, but he didn’t set me on ablaze like Blaise, Kai, or even Thaddeus, did. Guilt still settled in my stomach like lead. Corbin had a good heart, but he wasn’tmyMr. Perfect. He was probably grieving me in some specific way psychologists would, something like analyzing himself through the five stages of grief.
Mom would hold out hope for me to be alive. She was always filled with hope. She still believed my father would come back one day. My entire being ached for her. She loved my father with everything in her, and she still waited for him. I didn’t share the same hope she did, though.
My father stayed long enough to name me, and then he left. Mom said it was for my protection. I thought he was in the mafia or something and left to protect all of us. But, my whole experience up until now made me wonder if it was supernaturally linked. I wasn’t sure if he was still alive or not, but I didn’t hold any resentment toward him like my brothers did.
Jax would be meowing at everyone and not leaving my room. I missed him waking me up in the middle of the night for cuddles or getting irritated with me because I wouldn’t let him into the bathroom while I showered. That cat stuck to me like my fucking shadow. I knew my disappearance would be hardest on him. I was his whole world, and it killed me to think of him in distress because he couldn’t find me.
Hot tears pricked my eyes at the thought. I was so fucking selfish. I’d been prancing around with these vampires, so wrapped up in my life-changing scenario, and I hadn’t stopped to think of the pain I was continuing to cause them by not letting them know I was alive.
My head dropped into my hands as a sob wrenched from my chest.
I’m the worst.
The cushion next to me moved, and I whipped my head toward Kai, who was staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes that held so much more fucking depth than he’d like to admit.
I sniffed, wiping the tears away with my hands in a sweeping motion, wetting my fingers with the bitter droplets.
It was the first time Kai had approached me since they had their meeting. I’d missed his presence more than I liked to admit.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Thaddeus said you could control minds.Even his.That’s bloody crazy. I thought you’d be chuffed about that kind of power.”
“Chuffed?”
“Happy,” he clarified.
“Iamhappy about it.” I shrugged as irritation rose to my skin like goosebumps. “Why’s that the most you’ve said to me in a week?”
He stiffened. “That’s not true.”
“Bullshit, Kai,” I snapped. “Don’t act like you care when you’ve basically ghosted me.”
“I didn’t ghost you.”
“Oh yeah?” I flipped my body around and faced him. “What about not striking up conversations with me? Or leaving the same room as me as quick as fucking possible? And don’t forget that you all have been going on hunts without me, which is total bullshit, and you don’t even tell me when you’re leaving.”
He reached out and pulled me into his arms. I let him without protesting, even though he was walking on thin ice. He stroked my hair as I rested my head on his shoulder. He pushed comfort into me with his cool-ass powers...asshole.
“I didn’t realize that’s what I’d been doing. We’ve been working on a special case that Thaddeus doesn’t want us to talk about right now, and it’s been making me stressed.” He pressed a kiss to my hair, taking a deep inhale. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling like that.”
I huffed out an annoyed breath. “That’s a sucky excuse, but I guess I’ll forgive youifyou tell me what that special case is.”
“I can’t, Lilith. I’m sorry.” He winced.
I rolled my eyes. I briefly considered using my new power to make him tell me, but I figured that would be a little too invasive and break the little trust we had left. I didn’t like him hiding shit from me. Thaddeus wasn’t his keeper.
I wracked my mind, trying to remember what they’d been hunting before they turned me. They’d mentioned it as they were turning me, and it was a hazy memory, but still there. “Is it about the Crimson Demon?”
He stiffened. “No, it’s not. Why were you crying?”
I pulled away from him with a jolt. “I miss my family.”
“I know,” he said. “But we have one week left until you meet with the Order of the Void. Hone your skills, and you’ll be able to prove to us you can be around your human family without losing control. With the power of obliteration, you’ll also be able to protect them without us around.”
I smashed my lips together and blew air out of my nose. “I can control my blood-lust better than before, even without your help. Why can’t I see them now?”
