“I know what you thought!” My voice echoed around us before I held my tongue. Spinning around, I stalked off toward the house.
Pain was supposed to dull with time. The logic behind it was that the memory was supposed to become less fresh. I couldn’t bear the thought of forgetting what I’d done, the brothers I’d lost in combat, and the person I had to become. All of it was written in the letters so I could reread them and the memories wouldn’t be lost.
Letters in hand, I snagged a pack of beer from the fridge and hopped in my truck. I peeled out of the drive and drove on muscle memory to a place I hadn’t been in a decade.
The comforting office was painted grey, and it had a floor-to-ceiling window that faced the main road. On the grey desk was a laptop, a notebook lying open, and a stack of papers sitting under a paperweight. In the left hand corner, the heater blasted on medium.
I gnawed my bottom lip. “I think it’s the flashbacks and the dreams. I keep reliving the night it happened, and it’s so vivid.”
“That’s exactly why.” My therapist, Ivory Howell, nodded her head. “We’ve been working together for over a year, Evelyn. You are a strong-willed woman with a good head on her shoulders. It’s normal to become anxious after discovering that he is back in town.”
I nodded. This woman had been my rock since I left Gerald. She was the reason I had such a grasp on my anxiety. She was a few years older than I was with curly blonde hair and brown eyes. We’d become close over the course of my sessions, and I would never trust any other therapist but her. “Makes sense. But how do I stop it?”
She pursed her lips. “You keep your thoughts positive and remain strong. You’re the only one that can control your anxiety, and you’ve done a damn good job at it. Don’t let his presence unbalance you. He can’t get to you anymore.”
I shut my eyes and let her reassurance wash over me. He couldn’t even come close to me—not without risking more jail time. I was in control, and had changed from being the submissive girl he could push around to a woman who wouldn’t take his shit.
I opened my eyes and smiled. “You’re absolutely right.”
The corner of her mouth quirked upward. “Let’s chat about something more positive, shall we? What about Flynn Rockwell? I heard he was back in town.”
My cheeks flared with embarrassment. I’d told her everything about our past and she was the only one who knew just how hung up on him I’d been—and still was. “I had dinner at his mom’s with him a couple of nights ago. To be completely honest, all of my feelings are still there, if not stronger.”
“What does it feel like when you’re around him?”
“Perfect.” I let out a small sigh. “He’s been through more than I could imagine during our time apart, but all of my feelings for him haven’t changed.”
“Focus on rekindling your romance with Flynn or just reaching out and being a friend. You need positivity right now, and the only time I’ve ever seen you smile like that is when you mention that man.” She winked, jotting something down in her notepad.
She was right. The only time I was this happy was when it had something to do with Flynn. I glanced at my purse. Mrs. Rockwell had slipped me a couple more letters before she left my salon with a new haircut this morning. I needed to read them, but I knew I needed to be in the right mindset to.
My phone vibrated in my lap, and I picked it up. I shot Ivory a sheepish smile before I answered it, “Hello?”
“Evelyn? It’s Maybel. Flynn’s mom.” Her voice was rushed as if she were panicked.
My spine straightened. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Flynn. We had an argument after I got home this morning. It’s about the letters. I haven’t been completely honest with you, hon. He didn’t know I’d been giving them to you, and he’s real upset about them being gone.”
My heart plummeted.He hadn’t meant for me to get them?“I’ll look for him. I have a feeling I know where he’s at.”
“Oh, Evelyn, thank you so much. Please make sure he’s alright. He booked it out of here with a lot of beer. I’m sure he’s drinking.”
“I’ll do my best. Talk to you later.” I ended the call and shifted my gaze toward my therapist. “Excuse me, I have to cut this session short. I need to do something.”
She waved her hand in the air like it wasn’t a big deal. “I’ll see you next week. Go do what you need to do.”
I gave her a grateful smile before leaving her office.
All the letters I’d collected from Mrs. Rockwell sat heavy in my bag as I walked down the trail to the lake. I spotted Flynn on the bench I had been at earlier that week. He had empty beer bottles scattered around him as he was engrossed in one of the letters he’d written. I swallowed a hard lump as I moved my feet closer. I stopped once I was standing in front of him.
He glanced up, his gray eyes meeting mine with an intensity that caused me to gasp.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
“How?” His voice was flat.
“Your mom called me. She mentioned the letters.” I gripped the strap of my bag tight.
