I was at a loss for words. They didn’t understand the torment my father put himself and us through for what he did. He regretted his actions every damn time and told me he couldn’t stop himself. Like, it was meant to happen, and he couldn’t change the way it was. I was so much like my father, I knew I’d make the same life-altering mistake he did if given a chance—maybe worse.
After all, like father like son.
Day Two
10 AM - 11 AM - Free Time
The beach was a blaze of golden hues. The sand burned underfoot. The waves came in bursts, white-tipped, and lapped at the sand we walked on. With every step, the sand shifted. Despite the morning heat, I found myself unable to take my eyes off the ocean.
Declan sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a tool. It’s because I’m jealous of Luca.”
I whipped my head toward him. Had I ever known someone to be so blatantly honest? I wasn’t sure, but I had to admit it was refreshing. Usually, when men were jealous, they’d never admit it. At least not in my experience. I inhaled the salty air, and the comfort of the beach enveloped me. “It’s okay. I haven’t been easy to get along with.”
“No kidding!” He nudged me as we walked side-by-side. “So, what happened with you two?”
A small, wet pebble sparkled in the light of the morning sun. I reached down to pick it up and ran my thumb over the smooth surface. It was a pretty aquamarine color, perfectly round with no sharp edges or jagged curves. I gripped it in my palm. “Luca was my first heartbreak.”
I could feel those green eyes burning holes into the side of my face. “You loved him?”
“I think so.” I let out a strangled breath. “Not that it mattered one way or the other.”
Not when Luca didn’t feel the same way.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrugged, feeling the weight of the pebble in my hand. “Luca said he wasn’t right for me.”
“He didn’t elaborate?”
I shook my head. “We had sex when I was a teenager. The night before he left for college, actually. I woke up when he was trying to sneak out, but he just told me I was a mistake. A year ago, we slept together again. We woke up, and he bolted. When I followed and demanded an answer, he told me he couldn’t be the man I needed.”
A bubble of laughter left my lips. I was fucking naive. And here I was, falling under Luca’s charm again. I had a stable man that wanted me, but all I wanted was a toxic man who never stayed.
Declan grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”
I swallowed hard and blinked the tears away. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t have feelings for him anymore.”
He pulled back, cupping my face. “Yes, you do. But that’s okay. I understand what it’s like to still feel for your first love.”
I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. “You’re wrong. I don’t. What do you mean? You still love your ex?”
He moved away and scratched the nape of his neck. “I’ll never stop loving my first love. But she’s not an ex. I was married to a beautiful woman named Sophie.” His eyes stared out to the depths of the sea like he wasn’t with me anymore. “She was my soulmate. But she had a form of brain cancer that developed rapidly. She died on our first wedding anniversary.”
I sucked in a sharp breath and clasped a hand over my mouth. “Declan, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. When did she pass?”
His eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Five years ago. I was twenty-nine when she died.”
I hesitated. My heart broke for Declan. I had no idea he’d been through something so tragic. I built up the courage to wrap my arms around his waist and grip the front of his t-shirt. “I can’t imagine losing someone like that. You’re so strong.”
He sniffled and placed his hands over mine. “It’s not easy. This was a conversation I should’ve had with you already, but I couldn’t—”
“You don’t have to explain. I understand.”
“You’re the first woman I’ve dated since her. The first one I’ve been intimate with since Sophie.”
It was as if a cement block hit the pit of my stomach. I felt obligated to him. He had sacrificed so much for whatever relationship we had formed. I had to at least try to see where this went. A cool wisp of air carried over the waves, coating our skin in a light mist of brine. The taste of the ocean left behind.
The promise flew out of my mouth before I could protest. “I’ll try to stay open-minded and see where things go.”
