A cloud passes across her features. ‘Well … okay. In that case, I suppose I should get going.’
She leans in, gives me a brief kiss on the cheek, and then steps back.
‘Why don’t I walk you out front and get you a cab?’ Luke says and turns to me. ‘I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.’
I nod and watch them go. I could go back inside, dance to ABBA with Hannah, but I end up mirroring my mother’s pose, leaning on the stone balustrade and looking out over the lawn that eventually gives way to a golf-course sand trap. I’m still there when Luke returns.
He looks relieved. I wish I was.
‘What did you think of your surprise?’
I let out a dry laugh. ‘It was definitely a surprise.’
‘It went okay, though, don’t you think?’
I turn around and rest my bottom on the stone ledge. ‘You and I need to talk.’
Luke looks confused. ‘About what?’
‘I appreciate that you tried to do something nice for me—’
‘Itriedto do something?’
‘Yes.’
He shakes his head softly and looks away. ‘And here’s me, thinking you were about to thank me, say how grateful you were! I can’t win, can I?’
The old me would have taken the bait, let the self-righteous anger fuel her, but I compose myself and ignore his comment. ‘I wish you had talked to me before you invited her.’
Luke’s head spins around and his eyes are slightly narrowed. He was preparing to batten down the hatches and weather out the ‘Jess’ storm. I’ve surprised him, I think. ‘I did think about it,’ he says warily. ‘In fact, I mentioned it to— never mind. But it went okay, didn’t it? You were pleased.’
‘I know I didn’t have a meltdown, Luke, but that doesn’t mean I was pleased.’
‘But you’re … you’re notangry, are you?’
I blink. ‘Actually, I am. I’m furious.’
Luke’s mouth drops open. ‘Then why did you—?’
‘Talk to her?’ I finish for him.
He nods.
‘Because I didn’t want to make a scene. I didn’t want to act like she does all the time.’
‘But she’s—’
‘Sober. Yes, I know. Or so she says.’
He frowns. ‘I don’t remember her saying that while we were standing there.’
Oh, crap. He’s right. I’m forgetting we haven’t had the conversation yet where he tells me she’s remarried, doing well. I’ll just have to skip right over that and hope he doesn’t notice.
‘I’ve been extremely clear over the years about not wanting to see her. For the record, I didnotwant her at our party tonight, no matter what is going on in her life at the moment. It was wrong of you to invite her without asking me, for overriding my wishes because you thought you knew better.’ My words come out calmly, but I’m aware I’m not pulling my punches. However, this isn’t anger or hurt talking, it’s just plain facts, ones Luke and I need to face if we’re ever going to make it past this night as a couple.
‘You have to admit that if you could find some peace about your mother, it might help things – it might helpyou.’ He’s angry I’ve pulled him up on this, which is slightly galling, but I can’t get caught up on that. I know that, in his heart of hearts, he was trying to do a good thing, but that still doesn’t mean he did therightthing.
‘That’s true. But it’s not your job to fix that, Luke. It’s mine. And my mother’s.’
