We get to the restaurant and begin our meal. I’ve hardly even put my knife into my Caprese salad when Luke asks me how I liked the house.
‘I wasn’t joking when I said it was amazing,’ I reply. I may not have the skills and building knowledge Luke and Elena have but even I can see the potential. I put my knife and fork down. ‘But it’s a risk.’
‘I know … ’ Luke pushes a bit of deep-fried squid around his plate. ‘And I know it’s asking a lot to put our savings into it. It’s just … I really think it could work, Jess.’ I can tell he’s visualizing the finished property because his eyes light up. It reminds me of how he looked when he and Elena were discussing the under-stairs cupboard. ‘And maybe this could be the start of something – something I can do on my own, outside of Dad’s business if he won’t let me do this kind of thing as part of it.’
It strikes me that maybe the best thing I can do for Luke is to trust him the way I was scared to the first time around. I can be brave. I can be adventurous. Just as his future business partner will be. That’s probably one of the things I envy about Elena the most. Her confidence.
I look my husband in the eyes. ‘I believe in you,’ I tell him, and I see the flicker of gratitude at my words. Up until that moment, I didn’t realize he had any doubts, but maybe he’s not as sure as I sometimes think he is.
‘I know you’re not big on risks.’
‘True.’ I take another bite of my salad while I work out how to say what I want to say. ‘But I don’t always think being so risk averse serves me well. Sometimes, you’ve got to shoot your shot, right? I … ’ I look down briefly, aware of how exposed I’m feeling. ‘I think sometimes I hold you back by being scared about things. I hold on to things so tightly, but maybe I need to, I don’t know … ’ I meet his eyes ‘ … trust more?’
‘You know you can always trust me.’
I nod, even though the sight of him slamming our front door behind him replays in my head for the millionth time. I can’t bank on the fact it won’t happen again, but maybe I need to not hold Luke so tightly because I’m scared of losing him. Maybe I need to let him fly, chase his dreams. Isn’t that what Mrs Wonderful would do?
Looking back, I wonder if I’ve been a lead weight holding him down. No wonder he hasn’t been happy. But if I let go of Luke, I will also have to let go of other things – our house, for instance. I know it’s going to come on the market in about six months’ time, and we’ll put an offer in and by this time next year, we’ll be homeowners. Only, if we use the deposit we’ve saved for this project instead of waiting untilafterwe bought somewhere for Luke to spread his wings, that house will probably never be ours. I feel a stab of pain in my chest at the thought. I love our house. Our home.
But he’s worth it.
‘Let’s do it,’ I tell him. ‘Buy the house. Do it up. Make us a great nest egg.’
Luke leaps up from where he’s sitting, puts his hands either side of my face and kisses me as if I’ve just made all his dreams come true. I hear a flutter of reaction from the surrounding diners, but I don’t care.
He can hardly stop grinning as we continue our meal, but when desserts are served, his expression becomes serious. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small square jewellery box and offers it to me. My eyes widen.
Is that it? Is that his great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring?
Blushing a bit, I tentatively reach for the box and ease it open to find something glinting at me inside. Only, it’s not one item but two – a pair of earrings – and that’s when I realize the box isn’t quite the same. It’s dark green not dark blue and it has a little chain pattern printed in gold around the sides and no lettering on top.
‘Oh, Luke … ’ I say, trying not to let my voice wobble. Whether it’s from disappointment or because I’m so incredibly touched, I can’t tell. ‘They’re lovely. But how did you—’
‘They’re not diamonds, unfortunately,’ he says. ‘Just crystal, but the box is leather, which kind of counts, since it’s our “leather” anniversary. But I don’t know … Getting you a keyring or a purse or something didn’t seem to be enough.’
I reach over and touch his face. ‘I love them. Becauseyouthought of it. Becauseyougave them to me.’ I slide the hoops I’m wearing out of my ears, pop them in my handbag, then put my new earrings in.
But the more I think about it, the more I start to suspectLuke’s great-great-grandmother’s ring might be the key to everything. While everyone else in the family makes fun of the fact Millicent believed the ring had magical powers, maybe she was right. I mean, I can’t explain what’s happening to me – going back in time, skipping through my anniversaries like they’re a game of hopscotch – but if there’s anything or anyone else in this weird corner of reality I’m living in that might have some of the same sort of supernatural power, I have to find it, don’t I? I have to try to see if it will help get me back where and when I should be. It can’t hurt to add an extra sprinkle of fairy dust to my ailing marriage, can it?
I check my phone for the time. It’s almost ten. Maybe, if Luke is tired from the wine after we get home and falls asleep quickly, I can creep out of bed and have a bit of a hunt round our flat for the other jewellery box. It has to be there somewhere, doesn’t it?
But even if I find it, I won’t take the ring. I won’t wear it. Not yet. Not until maybe I can signal to Luke I’d really like to have it after all. But just knowing it’s there, waiting, will set my mind at rest. And if I can touch it, so much the better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
LUKE
Four Months Before the Anniversary Party
He stares at the empty seat on the other side of the battered wooden table. She only left a minute ago. He should probably leave too. Jess will be at home by now, probably thinking about throwing something in the oven for dinner. It’s just … He needs time to think, and somehow that is getting harder and harder to do at home. Or anywhere, really. There’s so much going on in his head all the time. But there’s something about this small independent café, tucked away in the local parade of shops off the High Street, that is oddly calming.
He didn’t hear much from Elena all over Christmas, mostly because she went home to Colombia to visit her family, but now she’s back, and she sent him a message asking if he’d meet her for coffee. He thought she was going to bring some plans for him to look at or ask his advice on walls or ceilings or whatever, but she hadn’t mentioned any of those things. She hadn’t mentioned work at all.
They’d just chatted while they’d drunk their coffees, likeold friends, which they are, he supposes. However, anyone who glanced over could be forgiven for thinking they were on a date.
Which they weren’t. So that’s okay, isn’t it?
She had asked for his help and support. A favour.
