Luke waves to some of his old school friends who have just arrived and heads off to greet them. When he’s out of earshot, Hannah turns to me. ‘What did you think about the present? Did you like it?’
How much do I say? I don’t want to be disloyal, but this isHannah – she’s my best friend and one of the people I trust most in the world. I try not to grimace. ‘Um … ’
She narrows her eyes and studies me. ‘You didn’t like it? Oh, wow. I’m so surprised.’
‘You knew about it?’
She nods. ‘He asked me for some input.’
I’m stunned. How do I take this? My best friend doesn’t know me very well either? Or am I just being selfish? It’s just I had my heart set on something different, and I thought I’d hinted heavily enough for Luke to get the message but obviously not. In the moment, I’d been disappointed, of course I had been, but Han’s reaction is making me second-guess myself.
She giggles nervously. ‘I thought for sure you were going to catch on, because we’ve been texting back and forth setting it all up.’
For a split second, everything inside me goes still. It’sHanhe’s been messaging constantly? Of course! I exhale softly and my shoulders unknot themselves further. It all makes sense now.
‘It’s not that I didn’t like it so much, more that I was hoping for something else. I know there are these Victorian traditions about certain materials signifying different wedding anniversaries – paper, wood, wool, copper – but I was hoping, ten years in, that Luke might have gone with jewellery or something. I mean, I got it in the early days, when we didn’t have much money, but now … Well, we’re not rolling in it but we’re doing okay.’
I think of the nice watch Luke is wearing on his wrist, my gift to him. Is it wrong to want something similar for myself? Something that says,I value you. You’re worth it.
‘Maybe it’s not what you were expecting, but I honestly thought it was kind of sweet,’ Hannah says.
‘It’s made oftin,Han … ’
‘Luke said it was pewter.’
‘Which contains tin.’ Luke filled me in on the nerdy stuff when he unveiled it, but I was so shocked I didn’t absorb all of the details. All I could see was a large, grey metal wall sculpture in the space on our dining room wall that we’ve never known how to fill. I suppose it was artistic, but I’d wanted something more personal, something that said he was paying attention, that he knows me and what I like.
I look over to where Luke is chatting to Elena, an interior designer he worked with occasionally when he first joined his dad’s building firm. We socialized with her and her husband quite a bit a few years back.
Hannah slings an arm around my shoulder and steers me in the direction of the bar. Both our Prosecco glasses are empty. ‘If it makes you feel any better, when I was married to Connor, all I ever got – if I was lucky – was a bunch of last-minute petrol-
station flowers.’
I stop walking and give her a hug. As well as her under-
the-radar help with Luke’s present, she helped me too, and I know it can’t have been easy helping plan someone else’s anniversary party when her own divorce has just become final. Although it’s almost two years since Connor cheated on her and moved out, I know she wasn’t prepared for the extra little stab in her heart when the papers arrived.
I talked Luke into us kind of ‘adopting’ Hannah in the aftermath. She couldn’t face going back to the flat she’d rented with Connor, so she stayed in our spare room for two months, until she found somewhere new. Even after that she was constantly at our house, for dinner or brunch or just to hang out. Lukesometimes finds Han a bit full-on, but they’ve developed this big brother, little sister kind of relationship now that’s so wholesome. I think it was good for Hannah to be reminded that not all men are selfish pricks.
I look over to where Luke, Elena and a few of his brothers, are all laughing and talking in a group, and the tension from our earlier tiff begins to fade. Maybe it’s good for me to remember that too, no matter how strained the cab ride over here was.
Hannah follows my gaze, and she sounds almost wistful as she says. ‘You’re so lucky to have such a wonderful man; you know that, right?
That’s what I’ve always thought.
More than one of my friends has expressed similar sentiments. A few have been properly jealous, and I can understand why. Luke is a catch – decent, hardworking, dependable. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s beautiful to look at. Probably more so now he’s closer to forty than thirty and he’s more roughened up and worn around the edges. I know I should be grateful for what I’ve got.
CHAPTER TWO
JESS
The party is a roaring success. The DJ plays ‘Murder on the Dance Floor’ and Hannah comes streaking over from the other side of the room and grabs my hand. ‘Come on,’ she yells over the music, ‘it’s our song!’
I laugh, remembering all our late-night dancing sessions in the flat we shared after a night out, singing into wooden spoons and spatulas, and let her drag me away. We dance for at least an hour without stopping to hits from our formative years and only stop terrorizing everyone with our moves when it becomes apparent my bladder doesn’t have as much stamina as the rest of me anymore and I have to abandon shouting along to the Spice Girls for the ladies.
When I return to the ballroom, I can’t see Hannah anywhere and the pace of the music has slowed. A thudding noise booms through the PA system as someone taps on a microphone, and I spin around to see her at the DJ’s desk, grinning.
She finds me in the crowd and shoots me one of her ‘don’t hate me’ smiles. ‘I know you said no speeches, Jess, but we couldn’t let the evening go by without a toast to you and Luke.’A cheer goes up and I’m pushed towards the bright lights and noise. Luke too, it seems, as we end up standing a few feet away from Hannah, everyone circled around us. It looks as if we’re going to have to endure this, like it or not.
