What luck indeed.
He gestures to the space on the railing next to me. ‘Do you mind … ? Or am I in the doghouse?’
I consider it for a moment. He definitely still is in the doghouse, but … I don’t know … Maybe it’s because everything has seemed strange and unfamiliar today but, even though he’s twelve years younger than he was the last time I saw him, he doesn’t. He just feels like Luke. Safe. Constant. Until he wasn’t, of course.
But this Luke hasn’t walked out the front door without looking back. This Luke hasn’t told me he’s had enough of being married to me. In this moment, I am enough for him, and I had no idea how much I needed that or how long that feeling has been missing from my life.
‘It’s fine,’ I tell him. Because it is. For now.
He sighs with relief and smiles. ‘Actually, I just got here.’
I raise my eyebrows.
He looks a bit sheepish. ‘I spent the last hour barging through the doors of every restaurant and bar within a half-mile radius. Just in case I’d got the wrong restaurant.’
He looks so earnest, so heartfelt, that I want to take his face in my hands and kiss him, but I don’t. This Luke and I are strangers. It strikes me that I always thought he went on this blind date because Ranvir pushed him into it, but if that was the case, he would have just heaved a sigh of relief and scurried off for the train home. However, this man scoured Borough looking for me, which is no mean feat, seeing as how this foodie heaven is cluttered with eateries and watering holes of all types.
I smile at him. ‘I’m glad you did.’
After that, we fall into easy conversation, just as we did the first time around, talking about movies and books, work and, well, life. It’s a relief for my overloaded brain to dive into a familiar dynamic. At the end of the night, he walks me to the station and kisses me softly on my cheek. Last time, I pulled on the lapels of his jacket and brought him closer, asking for more. This time, I let it stand.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LUKE
Twelve Months Before the Anniversary Party
He stands in front of the tall shelves filled with ceramic items of all sizes and descriptions, from crockery and candlesticks to vases and salt and pepper shakers. In just over a week, he and Jess will have been married for nine years. He’s always given her a traditional gift of the material associated with each anniversary, which means this year it’s pottery.
He’s not sure Jess gets particularly excited about pottery.
If he’s honest, he’s not sureanyonegets particularly excited about pottery.
Maybe he’ll get her something else to go alongside it, but he wants to buy something ceramic too. It’s become a bit of a tradition, something he doesn’t want to break.
He sighs and wanders down the aisle a bit to stare at another banks of shelves, all similarly stacked. What would Jess like … ? An olive oil pourer, glazed in earthy colours? He pulls a face. Hardly romantic. It’s the sort of present you might give yourgrandma, or a friend for a housewarming present. Not the supposed love of your life.
He picks up an egg cup, turns it over, then puts it down again. But maybe that’s the problem. He and Jess have seemed more like roommates than soul mates recently. They don’t argue. They still have sex, but … He doesn’t know how to quantify it. It just seems as if something important is missing.
He’s just about to pick up a small jug with hearts stamped on it when he hears an incredulous voice behind him. ‘Luke?’
He spins around. ‘Elena?’
She laughs. ‘What are you doing here? Wandering round an artisan ceramics show is hardly the sort of place I’d expect to find you!’
‘Looking for an anniversary present for Jess. It’s nine years this year – pottery.’
She nods, smiling, but there’s something in her eyes he can’t quite identify.
‘It’s good to see you,’ she says.
‘Likewise,’ he replies, and now he’s got over his surprise, he pays a bit more attention. She looks good. Elena was always one to look effortlessly stylish, but today she looks especially good. The cream suit with striped shirt sits well on her.
They stand there, just looking at each other for a few seconds and then he says, ‘Got any ideas for a suitable anniversary present? I’m struggling. I could do with your eye, if you’ve got a moment?’
At first he thinks she’s going to make an excuse, but then she nods. ‘Sure.’
They spend the next few minutes browsing the displays.Every now and then she picks something up and offers it to him. Elena has always had great taste, even in their uni days when she’d been studying art. She’d been dating one of his flatmates and had formed part of their friend group for a while.
