I gather up my skirts and run after him as well as I can in a huge white dress, but just as I’m about to catch up with him, a hand circles my wrist and I’m stopped in my tracks.
It’s him. Gil.
Once again snarling up my life and getting in the way of my happiness.
‘Hey,’ he says, and without asking me what I want to do, he pulls me into the tented porch of the marquee and then through a curtain into a small area that has been sectioned off to be used as a cloakroom.
I pull my wrist from his grip, tugging far too hard, because he was only loosely holding it, and I ending up smacking myself in the face with my hand. Ouch.
Even in this strange dream, it hurts like crazy. I prod my nose, which I am now sure is turning pink and swelling to twice its normal size. And then, because I’m frustrated and angry and fed up with being here in this strange, taunting paradise, my eyes begin to sting and I let out a loud sniff.
‘Hey,’ Gil says again, and it’s even softer this time. His arms come around my shoulders. ‘What’s up?’
I shake my head. I could let it all out. I could yell out all my frustration, even though it would make no sense to him, but I don’t. Too many years of battening down the hatches and keeping it all inside.
His lips press softly to the top of my head. It’s such a tender gesture that the tears balancing on my bottom lashes fall. ‘We … we ought to be getting in there,’ I half whisper, half croak. ‘It’s time to make our entrance.’
A low chuckle rumbles next to my ear. ‘No.’
‘But everyone’s waiting!’
He pulls back to look at me. ‘Let them. What are they doing to do? Start without us?’
This is more like the Gil I know, doing whatever the heck he wants with no thought to anyone else. ‘But—’
‘No, Erin … I know you’ve been looking forward to this day for months, if not years, but you’ve been driving yourself into the ground trying to get ready for it despite my attempts to come alongside you, and we’ve been on the go all day. You need this.Let’s just take this moment to pause, recharge … And then, I promise, we’ll jump back on the merry-go-round.’
Much to my surprise, I realize he’s speaking the truth. He described me perfectly, but sometimes I’m so busy diving in and saving the day that I forget I do find large groups tiring and overwhelming. Maybe this is a distress flare from my subconscious telling me to slow down a bit.
‘Okay,’ I say slowly.
Gil smiles as I look up at him, and then he leans towards me.
I place a hand on his chest and turn my head to look at a bright red coat on a rack beside me, laughing awkwardly. ‘Oh, now I see. You almost had me with all that sensitive BS … I think you have other reasons for wanting to get me on my own.’
He says nothing, and when I flick a glance back up at him, there’s humour in his eyes. ‘I’m always looking for an excuse to do that.’
The hairs stand up on the back of my neck as I see his eyes drop to my lips. I know I should move, turn my head again as his torso presses hard against the palm I still have flattened on his chest, as his face gets closer. I suck in a breath …
‘Oh,thereyou two are!’ Both our heads snap round and I see Anjali holding back the flap of material that makes up the door of this makeshift cloakroom. ‘What are you doing in—’ She stops herself and shakes her head. ‘Forget it. I don’t want to know!’
I back away from Gil, realising what might have happened if she hadn’t come bursting in. I’d told myself I needed to disengage from this stupid dream, emotionally if not consciously, and here I was getting sucked in to it again. And in the worst possible way! With the actual love of my life probably on the other side of a flimsy canvas curtain. I feel sick.
‘Anyway …’ Anjali says, holding back the entrance flap. ‘I’m here to ruin your fun, because everybody is ready to welcome the new Mr and Mrs Sampson into their wedding reception.’
I smile weakly, smooth the skirt of my gown, and let her lead the way.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Five years ago
It’s late. She’s in bed and her roommate is asleep in the bunk beneath.
Hey, you …she types.
He didn’t reply to her message earlier in the day, but she knows he always goes quiet when something’s up, the same way she does.
You okay?
