Keeping my eyes on him, I let out a steadying breath, and then I gripped the neck of the violin with my left hand and extended my arm, so it dangled over the railing.
‘Let go,’ he said. There was no hint of rage or despair or any emotion at all in his tone now. It was as cold as the air wrapping itself around us.
I did laugh then, a tiny nervous bubble of sound. ‘Justin … You don’t seriously expect me to—’
‘It’s your choice, Angel. Do you want me, or do you want the violin?’
Why was he being so nonsensical? I pulled my arm back and hugged the violin to my chest.
He blinked and then said, so, so smoothly, ‘Or do I have to do it for you?’
Before I could answer, he reached across, wrenched Octavia out of my hands and held her over the railing.
‘No! Please don’t! Justin, you don’t need to do this!’ I looked at his face, a face I thought I knew so well. A face I loved so much. But I was staring into the face of a stranger.
‘Any last thing you want to say?’ he asked, keeping his eyes on me.
I was frozen, unable to do anything but tear my eyes from his and look longingly at the instrument dangling over the railing.
One by one, he released his fingers. When thumb and forefinger were all that was left, I couldn’t take it any more. I lunged for Octavia just as he let go, letting out a scream of pure despair as she disappeared out of sight. A second later, I heard the sound of splintering wood on the paving stones below.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Now.
ALICE WOKE WITH a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Today was the day of the wedding rehearsal, the day she’d been waiting for, but now it was here, all she wanted to do was climb back under the lovely soft duvet and hide. This life – the only one she knew and remembered – was about to collide with her real one, and she couldn’t help but fear that she’d be crushed between the two when the moment of impact arrived.
Ben was already in the hotel breakfast room when she went downstairs. She slid into the seat opposite him. From the looks of the circles under his eyes, he hadn’t slept any better than she had.
They ate breakfast in silence, punctuated by requests to pass the milk or the teapot, neither of them wanting to raise the subject of her impending nuptials. The easy conversation was gone, and Alice mourned it. Even though he was only a couple of feet away across the breakfast table, she missed him.
But when she caught his eye when they both reached for the toast rack at the same time, she saw everything she was feeling – the sense of loss, of the unfairness of it all – mirrored back to her.She pressed her lips together in a wonky sort of smile, and he dipped his chin almost imperceptibly in rely.
The only thing they could do was focus on the day’s journey and all the practicalities that came along with it. Those, at least, were safe topics.
‘I think we may have a problem,’ she told him, pulling her phone out of her bag. ‘That receptionist yesterday evening said we need a confirmation email to get into the castle grounds.’
Ben put his toast down and looked thoughtful. ‘There must be a way around it …’
Alice nodded. She’d been thinking about that last night while sleep had evaded her. ‘The only other option is to buy tickets, just like regular visitors, but even that has a snag because she also said the castle closes to the public at six, which is half an hour before the rehearsal starts. I suppose we could just get there before closing time and hang around. If we position ourselves near the barn, we’re bound to see people arriving.’
One side of Ben’s mouth hitched up. ‘Look at you, doing my job for me and ironing out all the travel kinks. Seems like you’ve thought of everything.’
‘The only other problem is the tickets are quite expensive – almost thirty quid per person. I’ve got enough to pay for mine, but I don’t think I can stretch to yours.’
‘You’re right about it being a problem,’ Ben said, grimacing slightly. ‘When I got to my room last night, I realised someone had stolen my wallet – or I lost it – at the service station on the M40.’
Alice’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘Oh, no! Can we go back there to look for it? Have we got time?’
Ben shook his head. ‘No point. I phoned my bank and cancelled all my cards, but it means I’m limited to the contactless payments I can make with my phone. When I moved back to Invergarrig, I switched to the tiny Scottish bank that has a branch opposite the church, and I don’t think they partner with any banks in England so I could draw cash out of an ATM, but I can double-check that.’
‘That’s the only bank card you have?’
He shrugged. ‘I have a couple of credit cards I use when I’m travelling, but I wasn’t expecting to be making last-minute five-hundred-mile trips, so they’re in a drawer back at the B&B.’
‘Well, you can probably manage a ticket to the castle, but what about the train fare back to Glasgow?’
‘I guess I’m just going to have to come up with something clever. In the meantime, I could do with some fresh clothes, so I’m going to see if I can find a cheap store where I can get a few basics without exceeding my contactless limit.’
