‘I just told you. It was just me and the girls.’
‘What about strippers?’
A cold sensation washed through me.
‘Angel?’
There was no point in lying. He’d just keep needling me, finding inconsistencies in my story until I had to come clean anyway.‘Lo hired a couple. She did it because she thought it would be funny …’ or possibly because it would piss Justin off, but I wasn’t going to tell him that, not when they had to play nice together on the top table at our wedding reception in fourteen days. ‘But I didn’t have anything to do with it – and I told her she shouldn’t have.’
He was quiet for what seemed like ages. I knew he was picturing the scene in his head, and anything he was thinking of probably wasn’t that far off base. Yes, I had blushed and felt awkward – it really wasn’t my kind of thing – but I would have come off as a spoilsport if I’d shut it all down. And it had been harmless fun. I hadn’t been even vaguely attracted to either of the two dancers.
‘Why would you do that to me? When that was my one stipulation about letting you have a hen night.’ All trace of anger gone in his tone. He just sounded incredibly wounded. ‘I give you everything I have, Angel, everything I am … Why do you deliberately try to upset me?’
‘I explained … It had nothing to do with me.’
‘You didn’t watch them? You didn’t let them come up close to you and wave their arses in your face? And more!’
I swallowed, and then I turned to him and slid my palm across his bare chest. ‘Justin … It’s you I love, don’t you know that? I’d do anything for you. I’m marrying you in a fortnight.’
‘But even that’s spoiled now because you’ve invitedhimto the wedding.’
Oh, god. Here we went again, I thought. Ever since Justin had discovered my old next-door neighbour Sam was on the guest list, he’d been going on about it. ‘I’ve explained about that too – the Baxters are my mum and dad’s oldest friends.They’re like family – closer than most of my actual aunts and uncles. I couldn’t leave them off the guest list. And I told you … It was just a silly teenage thing between Sam and I that neither of us barely remembers. We see each other when our families get together, but we don’t have a friendship outside of that.’
‘So you say …’ Justin huffed, and then he threw the duvet back and got out of bed.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m getting up. I can’t sleep next to you feeling the way I do at the moment.’ And he grabbed his robe and strode from the room. I lay there for a few moments, and then I sighed. I was tired and headachy and, unfortunately, feeling a lot more sober than I had been when I’d slid my key into the door.
No way was I going to get to sleep knowing Justin was in another part of the flat,stewing.There was no telling what kind of state he’d have worked himself up into come morning. I was going to have to go and find him. However, having this conversation in just my underwear seemed to hit the wrong note, so I quickly pulled my pyjamas on before heading out of the bedroom.
I didn’t bother turning on any lights but walked around the flat in my bare feet. I found him sitting on one of the sofas in the living room, the glow from the city outside picking him out in the dark. I went and sat down, close but not right next to him, sensing he might need a little space.
His voice was hollow when he spoke. ‘I put you above everything … Have I invited any of my exes to the wedding? No. I wouldn’t do that to you. But I always feel I’m last on your list, that there are so many other things you put above me.’
It broke my heart to hear him talk like this. Didn’t he understand how much I’d twisted myself like a pretzel trying to be the kind of woman he deserved? I wasalwaysthinking about what he wanted, what would please or displease him. My whole life revolved around him. ‘Justin,’ I said, and my voice caught. ‘You are my world! Please believe me!’
He turned his head sharply to look at me, and I wondered how someone so perfect, so handsome and talented and sensitive, could believe in himself so little. ‘Prove it, then.’
I shook my head gently in bemusement. ‘How?’
‘Prove that you love me above absolutely everything …’ He got up and headed for the study, and I followed him. I had a bad feeling about this.
He walked over to his desk, unlocked the bottom filing cabinet drawer, and pulled my violin case out. I instinctively reached for it. What had Octavia got to do with this?
‘This,’ he said, pulling the violin from its case. ‘This is what you love more than me.’
I gave a little half-laugh, more out of nerves than out of humour. How on earth could he be jealous of a violin? ‘Don’t be silly, Justin.’
His expression grew even more furious then, and I knew instantly that I’d said the wrong thing. My stomach chilled to ice as he glared at me, strode into the living room, and unlocked the sliding doors that led onto the balcony. It was early February and the coldest part of the night. My skin instantly puckered into goosebumps.
He shot me a scathing look, then walked outside and stood at the railing. When I joined him, he shoved the violin at me, bumping it painfully into my chest. ‘Hold it out,’ he ordered.
‘What?’ He couldn’t be saying what I thought he meant. It was ridiculous.
‘Hold the violin out, over the edge. Or the wedding’s off.’
I was tempted to laugh, to think I was still tipsy, but standing there in the icy night air, I knew I was stone-cold sober. This was all just so surreal. I took a few moments to consider my choices. This was a test. Justin was big on tests, another hangover from his failed marriage, I supposed. It might be better to play along. He wasn’treallygoing to make me do anything to Octavia.
