‘Then at least let me drive you to Glasgow. I won’t really be happy until I see you board that train with my own eyes.’
She gave him a huge smile, and he felt his insides light up in response. ‘That would be amazing. I was a bit worried about getting the bus on my own and then finding my way to Glasgow Central for the train. Norina gave me a map, but …’
‘Well, how about you go and get ready, and I’ll see you at about four?’ That should leave enough time for the ninety-minute journey, and he’d be able to pick Willow up from school before he left.
‘See you then. Thanks, Ben.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
Eight months before the wedding.
AFTER MY PART in the performance, I hid, tucking myself behind one of the wings, earning myself more than a few puzzled looks from the dancers that flowed past me on and off the stage as the rest of the show continued. I truly didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry.
I’d used to think that freezing in front of an audience was the worst possible thing that could happen to me, that I would die of shame and embarrassment if I did it again, yet not only was I still living and breathing, I’d managed to pick myself up and carry on.
But then I’d think about Justin’s face as he’d silently pleaded with me to save him from whatever backstage disaster had occurred, how I’d completely failed to do that, and my stomach churned. How was I ever going to face him?
I was supposed to meet him once the programme had ended, but I dithered, waiting until the stage manager shooed me out.
The large foyer in front of the theatre was being used as a bar area, and it was packed. I slithered in, avoiding anyone’s gaze,and spotted Justin all the way over on the far side of the room.
I paused behind one of the large pillars, trying to work out the least conspicuous route, and accidentally began eavesdropping on a discussion happening on the other side of it.
‘That first piece of the night was …’ a deep male voice said, trailing off to find the right word. Unseen, I winced as I waited for him to finish his sentence.
‘Oh, I know!’ a soft female voice replied. ‘It was utter brilliance.’
I blinked. Surely, I couldn’t have heard that right?
A third voice joined them. ‘The way Justin used the sound – and then theabsenceof it – defying our expectations, was astonishing. It really added intensity to the message of the movement.’
‘I thought so too,’ the man replied. ‘And Haru Morishita’s performance was breathtaking. I don’t know why Justin didn’t finish with that. It was clearly the strongest piece.’
I turned and pressed my back against the cold plaster of the pillar, my mouth hanging open. I must have emerged from backstage into a parallel universe because these people clearly hadn’t been watching the same performance I’d been part of.
I brushed my confusion aside and sought Justin out again. Sliding through the gaps in the bodies, I made my way over to where he was standing and ended up hovering behind him, not knowing how to break into the conversation.
After a few moments, Justin turned to replace his empty champagne flute on a waiter’s tray, and he caught sight of me. I held my breath. Even if all these people were fooled, thinking the gap in the music had been part of some brilliant creative plan by the choreographer,he and I knew the truth. Felix would probably be upset, and that wouldn’t please Justin either.
But his eyes held none of the disappointment I’d sensed when he’d been sitting in the front row. He leaned in, kissed my cheek warmly, slid a hand around my back, and introduced me to the group he’d been talking to.
The rest of the evening went past in a blur. Person after person came up to Justin and wanted to congratulate him on his innovative choreography. His hand was on my waist the entire time, guiding me from one group to the next, introducing me with glowing terms. Every so often, he’d lean in to whisper something in my ear or to kiss me on the cheek. Gradually, my nerves subsided to a manageable level.
I didn’t deserve this man. I’d let him down tonight, I knew I had, but he was being nothing but lovely, and I knew, despite the disappointment he must be feeling on his own behalf, that he understood what a breakthrough this was for me. However, it wasn’t until we were in the car he’d booked to take us back to his flat that I was able to talk to him properly about what had happened during the performance.
Not long after the driver pulled away, I turned to him. ‘I’m so sorry. I tried my best, I really did. Maybe I’d have been okay if the track had played, but—’
‘Do you mind if we don’t talk about it right now?’ His voice was so soft I could barely hear it. I’ve been putting on a good show, but I have a pounding headache.’ Then he turned his face to the window, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead on the glass.
I sat with my hands folded in my lap and stared at the windscreen between the headrests of the front seats.He was more disappointed than I’d realised. Tears welled behind my lashes. Of course it was okay if he didn’t want to talk. After the mess I’d made of things, he didn’t owe me anything. But I owed him. Big time. He’d put his trust in me, and I’d let him down. I refused to blink and allow the tears to fall. It would have been selfish to let them.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Now.
WILLOW CAME RUNNING down the steps of the B&B waving a grey knitted beanie. ‘Uncle Ben! Wait! You forgot your favourite hat!’
‘Thanks, sweetheart.’
