‘You look lovely,’ he said and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.
I closed my eyes before he pulled away, inhaling his crisp aftershave, then reminded myself I shouldn’t read anything into a peck on the cheek. He probably greeted everyone that way.
The next couple of minutes were a blur. He ushered me inside, greeting the maître d’ by name, and we were led through the elegant restaurant,full of thick white linen and sparkling crystal, to our table. I was slightly confused as Justin pulled out a chair for me because I’d been picturing a cosy little table for two, but this one was set for four.
A waiter appeared. ‘Would you like to order a drink, sir?’
‘Not just at the moment,’ Justin said, handing the wine menu back to him. ‘We’ll wait until the rest of the party arrive.’
I stopped admiring the gilt and crystal of the restaurant’s decor and whipped my head round to look at him. ‘Rest of the party?’
Justin beamed back at me from across the table. His smile was one of the most beautiful things about him. ‘I should have told you, I know, but I wanted it to be a surprise.’ He’d only just finished saying the words when he looked towards the door. ‘Oh, look. Here they are now …’
I followed his gaze to where two immaculately dressed men were standing. One was tall and stocky, with the face of an East End gangster, but when he arrived at our table and introduced himself as Felix Lambert, and his partner as Haru Morishita, instead of having the voice to match his appearance, he sounded more like Sir Patrick Stewart.
‘Felix and Haru are two of my oldest friends,’ Justin said and then returned the favour with the introduction. They both gave me a kiss on each cheek, and then we all took our seats. ‘I’ve asked them along this evening, not only because they’re a terrifically fun couple, but because Felix here is a composer, and we have something we’d like to discuss with you.’
My smile was plastic as I looked back at Justin. I knew I’d told my sister this wasn’t a date, but I realised that up until that moment,I’d been hoping it was, that maybe he saw me as more than a project to work on.
Justin explained that Felix was composing a piece of music for a dance he was choreographing and that Haru was going to be the soloist performing it. It would be the opening number in an evening of contemporary dance that Justin’s company was working on which would ultimately run at Sadler’s Wells.
‘Justin told me you are very talented,’ Felix said. ‘Of course, we would need to audition you properly, hear you playing the actual piece, but I think you might be just the right person to bring the freshness and dynamism we’re looking for.’
My mouth went dry. This was amazing. All I’d ever wanted was to play professionally, but just as soon as the elation flushed through me, terror arrived hot on its heels. ‘I … I really don’t think I’m—’
Justin swatted my objection away, grabbing my hand and looking into my eyes. ‘Of course you’re good enough!’
I swallowed. That wasn’t what I’d been about to say. He smiled at me, as if that alone would solve any and all problems the universe held. As I looked at him, I was tempted to believe him, but I knew I wasn’t that lucky. ‘This would mean playing … in front of people?’
Justin’s smile held, but confusion clouded his eyes. ‘Who else would you play for?’
‘And there’d be a fee, of course,’ Felix added, as if he wasn’t really listening to our part of the conversation. ‘And I assume you’ve been in a recording studio before?’
I brightened. ‘A studio?’
‘It seems like the best idea,’ Justin said. ‘Live music for dance performances can be so tricky. Sorry … I’ve told Felix how great you are with a crowd around you,but I think if the audition turns out okay, it might be for the best. Especially for a – how shall we put it? – a lessseasonedperformer.’
I didn’t bother telling him he’d got the wrong end of the stick, that I wasn’t disappointed in the slightest about not performing live. ‘I’m just so grateful you’d think of me,’ I said, smiling so hard my cheeks ached. Maybe there was a way forward for me after all? A career I could carve out for myself that didn’t involve stuffy chamber orchestras and stifling solos?
I relaxed as the meal continued. Justin spoke the most, dominating the conversation, and I couldn’t help but marvel at him. He was so together, so confident. I tried not to stare at him too much, sure Felix had clocked me adoring him from afar, but my eyes were drawn to him when I wasn’t consciously making them rest on something else.
It’s enough that he thinks I’m talented,I told myself,that he thinks I’m worth something.I hadn’t felt that way in a long time.
Even so, as the bill was paid and Felix and Haru began to shift in their chairs, readying themselves to go home, my heart sank. It had been one of the most magical nights of my life. When would I ever get a chance to eat somewhere like this again? Or to feel as if I was in the middle of something, doing something important with important people, rather than always looking on from the fringes?
They all air-kissed me and each other goodbye, and after Felix and Haru left, Justin helped me into my coat, and we walked outside into the brisk March night. I expected him to say his farewells to me too, but he said, ‘Why don’t I walk you to the station?’
I blinked at him. ‘It’s okay. I’m used to getting the train on my own.’
Why? Why did I say that?
He glanced towards the narrow roads leading back towards The Strand. ‘I don’t like to think of you walking out there by yourself.’ He paused to look at me intently. ‘Not when you look like you do in that dress.’
I was glad it was dark because he couldn’t see how furiously I was blushing. ‘If it’s not too much trouble.’
He smiled again then, but this one was different. It wasn’t the dazzling one he’d blessed us with many times over dinner, like a floodlight, illuminating everything. This one was a spotlight trained solely on me. ‘It would be my pleasure.’
Chapter Twelve
