‘She just came out of her room and headed for the bathroom and took me by surprise. I thought she went to sleep hours ago.’
‘She?’
‘Gabriela. Poor thing. Her boyfriend dumped her a couple of days ago. Or, I suppose, technically she dumped him, but only because he deserved it. I said she could stay at mine because she says all she does is cry all day when she’s on her own.’ Anna sighed heavily. ‘At least when she’s here she’s only crying half the time…’
‘How long is she staying?’ Brody asked.
‘I don’t know.’
‘Are you okay with that?’ Brody had never been big on having houseguests for an extended period, even back in the days when he’d had friends who’d wanted to stay with him.
‘More than okay,’ Anna said firmly. ‘Gabi was there for me when Spencer died. She can stay as long as she likes, move in permanently if she really wants to.’
Brody brightened at that idea. It’d make it more difficult for Jeremy to get a similar notion.
‘She’s a total mess,’ Anna said. ‘She called in sick for work, which isn’t great because she’s a freelancer and she had to cancel a job, but she just couldn’t face it, so what can you do? I even took Tuesday off as well, but I can’t do that every day. So I’m just doing the things she did for me when I was a total mess: snuggling up with her on the sofa to watch comfort movies,buying her a bar of chocolate on the way home, or a copy of her favourite magazine, making her soup and—’
A sneeze caught him by surprise. ‘Sorry,’ he said when he’d wiped his nose. ‘I hope I didn’t deafen you with that one.’ He’d never been the sort to produce a discreet little snuffle if in public. His sneezes only came out at one volume: loud enough for most of Devon to hear them.
Instead of laughing at his joke, Anna said, ‘Sounds like you need someone to look after you too.’
Would you like the job?The words almost came out of his mouth as fast and loud as the sneeze, but he managed to hold them back. What a stupid thing to ask.
Oh, but if only he could… The thought of Anna pottering around in his kitchen making soup or curling up beside him on the sofa while they watched a film together stole his breath away.
Not going to happen, mate. Stop dreaming. Cook your own soup.
‘I’m okay,’ he finally said in answer to her question. ‘I’m old enough and ugly enough to take care of myself.’
Anna made a thoughtful noise. ‘I think that’s Gabi’s problem,’ she mused. ‘She’s in a mess because she misjudged her ex, but then she’s beating herself up about being a mess, which makes her even more of a mess… It’s a vicious cycle. What she really needs is to be kind to herself. But we both know how difficult that can be.’
Brody grunted in acknowledgement.
‘So, in the meantime, I’m going to step in and do it for her. We all need that, I’ve realized, to be kind to ourselves…’ She drifted off for a moment. ‘For a long time, I wasn’t at all.I think I actually hated myself. Although I’m not sure what for… Being alive when Spencer was dead, maybe? Who knows?’
Brody grunted again. He knew all about this too, the self-hatred, the guilt.
‘Uh-oh,’ Anna suddenly said. He could hear her moving again, and she lowered her voice. ‘Gabi’s come back out of the bathroom. Oh, God. I can hear her crying,’ Anna said, no longer bothering to whisper. ‘I’d better go.’
Brody nodded. This was how it always was with Anna and him. He’d feel that bond, that connection. It would feel all-encompassing, as if it was the only thing in the world, and then something would happen to bring him back down to reality with a bump, to remind him that he was only a tiny part of her life. ‘Until next time,’ he said gruffly.
‘Yes,’ Anna replied, with a softness in her tone that tore his insides a little more raggedly, and then she was gone.
Chapter Forty
WHILE SHE’D BEEN talking to Brody, Anna had crept downstairs and into the living room, where she’d sat on the arm of the sofa. The light from the hall had allowed her to see just enough so she didn’t bump into the furniture.
‘Anna?’
Anna shot off the sofa, heart pounding, and found Gabi standing in the doorway to the living room, half asleep and fully bedraggled. ‘You scared the life out of me!’
Gabi rubbed a hand across her eyes. ‘I heard you talking…’
‘Sorry. I was on the phone. I was trying not to disturb you.’ She met Gabi in the doorway, then led the way back up the stairs.
Gabi followed mutely behind her, but as she stopped at the door to the guest bedroom she yawned and asked, ‘Who were you talking to?’
‘Just… a friend.’
