‘How dare you!’
Anna spun around to find Gayle marching up behind her, fire in her eyes.
‘How dare you bring that man here! Are you trying to hurt us, to hurt me? Because well done, you’ve done a marvellous job!’
‘Teresa said I could bring a plus-one,’ Anna said, trying to keep the wobble out of her voice.
‘Even if she did, you should have known better! You should have brought someone else – that loud friend of yours. She would have been fine!’
‘Her name is Gabriela,’ Anna said stonily.
‘You shouldn’t have brought him to ourfamilyparty,’ Gayle said, and Anna couldn’t help noticing a tiny bead of bubbly saliva at the corner of her lips. Good grief. She was actually foaming at the mouth.
A girl in a short silver dress and high heels tottered past on her way to the loos. Anna had to step to the side to make room for her, which gave her some much-needed distance from Gayle.
She looked at her mother-in-law’s face. Although, as she’d said to Jeremy, Gayle really did look good for her age, up close Anna could see the fine lines on her skin more clearly, the wrinkles and puffs beneath her eyes,their purple tone cleverly hidden with a good concealer. Gayle looked old, she realized. And not nearly as invincible as she made herself out to be.
‘Not everything is about Spencer,’ Anna said, not aiming to injure but to explain.
Gayle stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. ‘Of course it is! Because he should be here tonight, like he should be at every family gathering! How could you ever forget that?’
‘Iknowhe should be here,’ Anna said, with a softness in her tone she didn’t have to fake. This was the one core thing that, deep down, connected her and Gayle. If only they could get back to that place when it had meant love and support and togetherness, not competition and accusations. ‘Do you think I don’t wish it was different? I’d much rather Spencer was here.’
She felt the truth of that statement like a stab to the chest. If she could pick between the two men – no matter how nice and supportive and good-looking Jeremy was – of course she’d choose Spencer. She would always choose Spencer. Something shifted inside her at the thought.
‘Spencer was the love of my life,’ she said and saw an unexpected warmth flood her mother-in-law’s eyes. Maybe there was hope after all? ‘And nothing will ever change that. But what happened has happened. He’s dead, Gayle, no matter how much we wish he weren’t. And we’ve got to find a way to live without him, to move forwards.’
Anna saw the moment the soft patch in Gayle’s armour hardened and turned back to steel. It was just as she’d said the word ‘dead’. She’d been too blunt.
‘And you call that “moving forward”?’ Gayle said, her volume rising with every word as she flung an arm in the direction of the function room.‘Flaunting yourself with him? You’re just throwing it in our faces!’
‘I was only dancing,’ Anna replied, more than a little exasperated. ‘There was nothing inappropriate going on.’
Gayle’s face betrayed just what she thought about that.
Anna stared at Gayle, begging her to understand. ‘Aren’t I allowed to be happy?’ she asked. Her voice cracked and her eyes filled as she said it, taking her by surprise. She really did want that now, she realized. She wanted it so badly.
Gayle pressed her lips together. Anna knew she had no sensible answer to that, because if she said ‘yes’, Anna had won, and if she said ‘no’, Anna had also won because Gayle would prove herself to be a cold-hearted bitch after all. Instead, master of keeping others in their place, Gayle changed tack and found a more suitable offence. ‘You’re being disloyal,’ she said flatly.
‘To whom?’
Even though she knew exactly where Gayle was going with this, the accusation hit Anna harder than she expected it to. ‘To Spencer.’ Gayle must have seen the pain in Anna’s eyes because she took the opportunity to dig the knife in a little deeper. ‘And to the family. You know how much my son cared about his family…’
Anna almost laughed. ‘What? The family that you’ve been doing your level best to push me out of for the last year?Thatfamily? Do you think I’m so stupid that I can’t tell you don’t like me, Gayle? That I don’t know you can’t stand having me around?’ Anna really did laugh then. It was a horrible, tight little noise that got stuck in her throat. ‘What I don’t understand is,if you’d rather I disappeared from your life, why the hell do you care what I do, or who I do it with?’
Gayle’s eyes had started to blaze while Anna had been talking, and now, like a dragon exhaling flames, she scorched Anna with her fury.
‘Because it should have been you!’ she screamed at the top of her lungs, so loud that the sound bounced off the walls and ceiling of the narrow corridor and echoed back to Anna. ‘It should have been you that went out that night to go to the corner shop! And because of you, because of your laziness, my son is dead!’
Chapter Thirty-Six
ANNA SAT IN bed, her back against the padded headboard, her knees pulled up towards her chest, the duvet tucked under her arms. She’d turned the lights off but had left the shutters open, and the bedroom was illuminated by the glow of the streetlamp across the road.
Thank goodness that girl with the silver dress had emerged from the Ladies toilets immediately after Gayle had dropped her bombshell. Gayle had frozen the moment the words had come out of her mouth, and she’d looked horrified, as had the girl in the silver dress, who’d obviously overheard the entire exchange. Anna had just turned and walked away. She’d gone to find Jeremy, and they’d said a hasty goodbye to Teresa and Scott before leaving.
Anna hugged her knees. She needed to talk. To Brody.
She’d been silent the whole journey home in Jeremy’s car, so much so that he’d got worried and had pulled over and had begged her to talk to him. She’d just shaken her head. Her lips had seemed glued shut.
