He nodded and then gave me a short tour of where they kept things. “Heads up. Mama will most likely be coming back to check on you. It’s her way.” He shrugged but sounded apologetic. I got the impression he understood my wanting to be left alone. “Daisy might too. She’s a busybody know-it-all type, or that’s what my Mina says, but don’t tell anyone I said that.” He grinned then. “I’ll deny it. A tip when dealing with Cottontail— that’s what Joanie likes to call her— she’s a pushover. If she’s bothering you just tell her. She’ll take the hint.”
“I don’t have any way to repay you,” I blurted.
“Give my Mina a chance when you meet her, that’s thanks enough for me,” he said simply. “If you’re anything like Joanie was describing you, you two will get along great,” he laughingly added as he closed the door behind him and set off.
The second I no longer heard his footsteps, I rushed to the door and locked it.
Walking back to the bed, I kicked out of my boots and curled up with Cy’s blanket atop the fluffy blankets covered midsized bed.
Hands slipping inside the front pocket of my hoodie, I pulled out the Polaroid and stared at it.
Cy’s beaming face and Elm’s old man scowl made me smile just as much as it hurt my heart.
I missed him. Elm too, if I was being truthful with myself. I’d never stopped missing them. I’ll never know what was in Elm’s box of ‘Us’ as he’d referred to it.
It felt like every single time the universe threw me a bone, it crumbled the second it was right there within my reach.
Smacking a kiss to my picture, I reached over and set it and the ring box on the table nearby. Dragging Cy’s blanket over my face, I allowed myself a real moment to grieve. For what was, what could have been, what will never be.
My world as I knew it didn’t exist anymore. THIS is my life now.
My hand fell to my stomach and I bit my lip, struggling to hold back tears. I then slid my hand over my heart, clutching the material of my sweatshirt over it. My free hand slid over my mouth to stifle the sob trying to escape.
I tried to hold it all back so hard I felt a blood vessel pop in my left eye.
Once more, life smacked me over the head with its lesson. It was starting to feel like it was beating a dead horse.
Life isn’t fair. It rarely ever is. Then you die. The End.
Having it all out, letting it seep out of me as quietly as possible, I fell asleep clutching Cy’s blanket to my nose and wishing it was him.
If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets.My father’s favorite phrase poked at me.
I suck at fishing and you know it, I’d quipped the first time I’d heard it and he never let me forget it. I was about eight at the time. It was so ridiculous it never failed to make him laugh.
It was such a stupid, silly thing, and made that near to constant ache fill with pain anew.
I’d thought before I had nothing. That was nothing compared to the nothing of now.
No family, no friends, no men that I love openly in my life, lost to my home planet, my piddly life. I literally had nothing and no one. I was utterly alone. The thought followed me into my dreams, the running theme.
Chapter 10
The dawn greeted me, and I flipped my middle finger at it, rolled over, hid my head in Cy’s blanket, and pretended I was at home in my bed and Cy was on his way over, Elm right behind him with an apology, explanation, and promise to never do that shit to me ever again.
It was my alternate reality blanket world dream. I could think whatever the hell I liked.
A heavy knock sounded at the door some time later— I had no clue exactly how much later. Instead of answering it I rolled to my back and counted crack lines in the material that made up the ceiling. I’d just reached my twenty third one when a softer knock issued.
“Prudence? It’s Dorothy, Bia’s mama. He mentioned running into you yesterday and offering up his old place to you until you got on your feet. I hope you don’t mind me dropping in. I was hoping to check your head wound, change the poultice if needed.” When I didn’t immediately answer, hesitating, she added, “I’ve got a few things I thought you might like, not having anything with you when you come in and all.”
She was being nice. Don’t be a jerk, Pru. Turning to roll to my feet, right out of the bed, I straightened my hoodie andadjusted Cy’s blanket around me so I looked more decent than the disheveled mess of before.
Opening the door a crack to peek through, I found her standing there by herself and it made me feel a little less uncomfortable standing here sans pants and underwear. Cy’s blanket covered me down past my knees but still.
Dorothy had a basket over each arm and some sort of heavy looking pot with a lid. The baskets appeared to be full to brimming with material and food items. The smell of fresh bread tickled my nose, and was that stew? I opened the door wider.
Dorothy smiled knowingly as she stepped inside. “My Bia said he was impressed with your fire starting skills.”
