“I’m not saying go ahead and kill him anyway, Hellhound be damned, but…” My lips pursed, face scrunching up as I sighed and began twisting this way and that where I stood restlessly. “I mean, the office downstairs would be all the more eclectic with a Vamp head mounted on the wall.”
“You would wish to stare at that ugly thing whenever we are in residence of your kingdom?” he asked on a laugh. Purple eyes lit with delight at his female’s tenacity—he was fond of explaining this to me when crap just popped out of this mouth.
“We could put, like, a paper bag over it,” I said on a shrug, “add horns to him, give him googly eyes,” my hands lifted, circling in a nonchalant gesture, “jazz it up.”
Segrid laughed harder, louder. I loved the sound. I wouldn’t be near this calm about all of this without him here with me, helping me cope, and I knew it. We’d been inseparable since that night at my house. This also meant my mate had laid witness to every blip on the unlocked hybrid magicks—added Ornthren and Earth magicks—mishap my shoddy ass had slipped, accidentally zapped, and unintentionally puddled myself into. Which brought us to the here and now. Practice.
“You are evading, my heart. Come. Enough of the things we do not wish to speak of.” His hands lifted, slamming together in a booming clap that sent birds in nearby trees bordering his home flying. At least, I thought they were birds... “Earth magicks. You will try them. You will learn. My Queen will surpass her male.” When I just stood there and stared, he promised, “And I will be fine.”
My hands raised, drawing the magicks to them, but I paused. “But what if they aren’t?” I hesitated.
“Then you will blast me, I will cry like a helpless babe, and you will love me despite this weakness in me and nurse me back to health,” he deadpanned with a sobering look.
“Not funny, Troll-squatch,” I muttered under my breath as my eyes narrowed shrewdly.
His smile was almost a smirk, taunting. “I don’t know,” he cocked his head, “I am feeling amused.”
“Should open a hole up in the ground to swallow you up,” I muttered, miffed that he thought this all nothing but a silly thing to tease his Nervous Nellie of a female about. My ire only grew as his smile widened, as if he’d noted this and it furthered his enjoyment.
“It is not a bad plan,” he murmured, eyeing me, suddenly serious. We’d been at this for days, and each and every time I stood here hesitating, on the cusp of trying and yet unable to get this shit going.
“Uh… no, it’s not. Not a good plan, I mean,” I began to splutter and stutter, wondering at what the male might think to do next. There was just no telling with him.
“I fear I have been going about this all wrong,” he murmured, an odd look in his eyes as he began to nod slowly.
“Uhm, no, you’ve been going about this great!” I blurted, shaking my hands wildly and starting to back up at his approach. “Why change things up now? Heh-heh. You know what, I think I’m ready to go, you know, like we were? Like two seconds ago.” I couldn’t say I was exactly loving the way he was eyeing me. My beloved was wilier than I’d given him credit for. The male would literally do anything for me, like right now, when he paused, several feet separating us now, and just stood there, his head cocked to the side.
I wasn’t expecting the roar he let loose, the shoots of magick strategically sparking around me but never hitting.
Startled, I screamed, shooting a blast of magicks at him without thought.
To say that a Troll’s Oh Shit face is priceless is an understatement, and might have been funny if the ground didn’t just open and swallow him whole to slam shut right over his fat, red head.
Stunned stupid, a scream left me. Dropping to my knees, shrieking and babbling, I panicked. Like a dog frantically trying to unearth a bone, I crouched, scooping handfuls, shoving it out this way and that, until I had a sizeable crater going but no Troll. “Segrid!’ I cried out hoarsely, blinking the tears from my eyes as fear overrode all else. It was like fear had my Earth magicks crapping out on me. All I’d managed to do was loosen up the earth as I dug.
“Calm, my heart,” my mate’s booming voice barked from behind me suddenly, stunning me so silly I went and freaking liquefied right then and there.
With a shriek, I’d managed to turn my dirt hole into a mud puddle. My water state mixed with the soft dirt, until I was coated in chocolate brown earth and terracotta red natural clay.
Segrid grimaced, wincing down at me. “Perhaps, another go?” he offered, to my angry gurgling.
As anger and hurt took over, I resolidified right before his sheepish eyes. “Troll-squatch!” I bellowed, mud caked and pissed. My hand slapped to his chest, my naked body coated in slimy, muddy earth. “You dick! You made! Me! Think! You! Were! Stuck! I was terrified!” My shrill scream was lent some oomph from that Kelpie-Kelpy side of me or whatever, the water horse witch lady stuff. “You know what! I’ve had enough!” I shouted, whipping around to stomp away.
Realizing as I reached the door he’d just follow me inside and cart me right back out, I turned, heading for the heavily wooded area around his home and began to stomp that way.
“Where are you going?” Segrid was the one sputtering now. “We have much to practice this day!” he called after me.
“Practice yourself!” I barked after him.
“You mean like this, my beloved?” The male shot up from the ground, right in front of me, out of damned nowhere. My mate, as mud caked as I was, grinned down at me ferally as he shot up from a damned watery puddle.
A screech left me, magicks shooting out from me to slam into him as I jumped, jerked, and just ran like hell. “This isn’t helping, asshole!” I shouted over my shoulder at him, but my steps never slowed.
A water witch, Kelpy lady was running butt naked through the woods, her deranged, muddy male chasing after her. If that didn’t sound like an odd horror movie.
Again he popped up near me, this time popping free from a bush like a damned Jack in the Box. Another blast of magicks was shot his way. A grunt left him as it slammed into his chest and he began sprouting flowers on that mud caked beard he’d been growing at an alarming rate. Not that I was complaining about the beard. Though it did occur to me I might wish to shave it off, shave his ornery, stubborn ass bald while he slept for pulling this shit.
“Excellent!” he called after me. “Again, my heart! You are grasping the hang of this much better now! You have defended without singeing me!” Thethis timewas silently tacked on.
