‘Not now,’I whispered to a ghost who never listened to me. ‘Please,’
I forced my attention back my side when I felt a sudden weight. She was leaning against me, her head resting on my shoulder. Her hair smelt like strawberry and a hint of citrus. The scent enveloped me, an anchor. But anchors only held for so long, right?
“Hey, are you okay?” She lifted her head suddenly, her hand resting on my chest. “Your heart is like…pounding so fast.”
“Yeah,” I forced out, my teeth nearly chattering. “I need…” air scraped through my lungs. “I just need to use the restroom for a second.”
She pushed away fully to get a better look at me. A familiar emotion flickered in her eyes. “Do you want me to come with—”
“No.” The word came out harsh, too sharp, a tone I would never dare to use on her. “I’ll be right back.”
I stood before she could argue, the murmurs from behind us swelling, bent out of shape, as my shadow briefly swallowed the figures behind me.
The world tilted, edges warping, sound thinning until I slammed the theatre door shut behind me.
I didn’t know how I made it out. The only thing I remembered was the air burning my face, and my body folding into the car like it had done this before.
“Glenfallow,” I said, my hand curled, fingers pressing into my palm. “Hurry.” I added as the pressure crested, hot and relentless.
My trembling hand slipped into the pocket of my coat, returning with my phone. Fingers hovered over the screen, fumbling for the right key to hit, until I could finally pull up her name.
‘I have to leave.’
‘Something urgent came up.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Please, don’t be mad at me.’
‘I promise I’ll call you as soon as I can’
Those were the words in my head. Those were the messages I wanted to send to her. But my vision began to tunnel at a point. I wasn’t really sure what my fingers ended up typing before I switched off the phone.
Zaghan was coming. He refused to wait a little longer. And all I knew was, I needed to be home when he slipped out. I needed walls, familiar ground, and control.
I couldn’t be careless and leave anything behind for him to find. No traces of her voice. Not her scent. No warmth clinging to my clothes.
Zaghan must never meet Elizabeth. Not now.
Not yet.
Not ever…I’d find a way to make sure that never happened.
I would break our pact if I had to. Seal him off completely. I would not let him take this one away from me.
Elizabeth was mine.
14
BETH
Are you still there?
Julian Bourdet, my father, had confessed in court to find pleasure in the fear he saw in his victims’ eyes when he held a knife to their throats.
Yet his confession, delivered without remorse, did not sway me then. A part of me had believed he was lying. He was always a skilled actor. He even told me one time that if he hadn’t made it as a successful college professor, he would’ve pursued a career in the movie industry.
I was only 10 when it all happened. Now 19, you would think I knew better to separate truth from lies, deceit from sincerity, and a conscious act from manipulation. But somehow, a minuscule part of me that I hated to acknowledge still wanted to believe he did all those killings because he wasn’t in his right frame of mind. Something happened to him then. A voice in hishead, perhaps could have compelled him. And if a voice was in his head, then Julian Bourdet wasn’t the killer the court charged him with being.
