But now I understood.
It was all because of these damn butterflies; the army of moths buried deep within my chest, itching and frantic. Something I couldn’t scratch, couldn’t carve out of myself. So I let them eat me instead. Let them hollow me out.
I let them freely and utterly consume me.
Beth Fraser gave me butterflies. She made my heart race. She made me want to smile even without meaning to. God, I was obsessed with this human. My divine, ethereal, incomparable, precious girl. I ached every time I realised she wasn’t seeing herself the way I saw her. Only if she knew I’d build a temple in her name, worship the very essence of her.
Elizabeth;I swear to god, if he dies I’ll be so mad. He is literally the only reasonable character in this book.
Elizabeth;Well, him and Lord Korrin, but after his dragon died, that man has been making bad decisions.
I watched, waiting.
She always did this; ramble through text messages like she was thinking out loud, dumping all her frustration onto me in real time. And I would wait, patiently, silently. Fucking devotedly.
I never really had a problem with waiting. If anything, waiting had become an addiction. Every time her name appeared on my screen, something unnamed always shifted inside me.
No matter what gradient I tried to analyse this from, the moment we had known each other, the time we had spent together was far too short for two strangers to become this close.
I couldn’t explain why I dove into the water for her. Yes, at that moment, fear was the only thing I knew, the fear of her drowning. Because drowning meant she would be gone. Being gone meant I would never get to see her again, never get to hear her weird laugh that was oddly comforting. It meant I would never be able to feel that warmth only her company could provide. And I couldn’t have that. So I jumped.
I didn’t think, didn’t weigh options, didn’t search for a million possibilities like I always did. I just…jumped.
And then she kissed me. Pressed those fiery lips to mine and stole my breath, warped my senses, reached inside my soul and pulled out a part of me I didn’t remember burying there.
Just a little kiss. And she set me on fire.
If I wasn’t sure what I wanted with her before, I was sure right then and there. I wanted that feeling only she could evoke within me. I wanted that fire only her could ignite in my veins.
Mine. I had never wanted anything to belong to me so badly before, never wanted to stake a claim, never wanted to possess something…someone.
But I wanted Beth Fraser to be mine. So when she asked me to be her boyfriend, to be hers, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t want to be anything if not hers. And I didn’t want her to belong to anyone else but me.
Mine. Beth Fraser was…mine.
My phone buzzed again.
Elizabeth;Okay, soldier, you can reply to my messages now.
My lips twitched, my hand lifting to adjust my glasses over my eyes. Then I typed.
Me;If he is wearing the protective talisman the high lady of the house of breath gave him, I doubt he’ll die.
That was a lie. Well, the author had tricked the readers, made them believe the talisman was a lifesaver. But it really had no significance other than to make you believe you could go to war and return unscathed.
Elizabeth;Do you think so? The writer kind of has this kink of killing off characters after readers have emotionally attached themselves to them.
My fingers hovered over the screen, itching to type the truth I had been afraid to tell her since we picked up the book.
Riven Greenwich was going to die at the end. I knew this because I had read this book last month. I only agreed to read it because she was so excited about it when she found it a few days ago.
I never really cared about happy endings. Never worried about who lived or who died. But she always did. And now I wished the author would have written the book a bit differently. Rewritten Riven Greenwich’s story. Given him a happy ending, so my Elizabeth would not be heartbroken.
Me;We could just stop reading it?
Elizabeth;Nah, I need to see how it ends
A quiet exhale left me.
