Her words hit harder than a punch from the inside. She was right. Why did I leave? Why the lack of contact?
What should I say? That my twin took over my body and went ahead to do God knows what with it?
How do I tell her that I vanished because there was a part of me I was too scared for her to meet that day?
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. People always said those words when they were wrong, right? And although it never truly fixed what was broken, they said it anyway. They always said it.
“I know it felt sudden…the way I left.” I added, and she just stared at me, barely blinking. It was like she was searching for something, the part of me I was too scared to show her.
“Why did you disappear?” she asked again. “What happened to you that day? You looked really…haunted.”
“Elizabeth,” I said, voice low but steady as I leaned closer to the table. “Sometimes…I lose control of my days. I get pulled into things I can’t walk away from. Things I can’t explain to you…yet.”
Her brows pulled together, something flickering across her eyes.
“Are you in some kind of trouble?” she asked, almost alarmed. “Are you sick? Dying?”
Sick? Yes. But it wasn’t a big deal. That was why the supplements and pills were there. Was I dying? Well, maybe. My heart was racing so fast, I felt like it would explode inside my chest.
“Not really.” I shook my head gently, praying she wouldn’t pry for answers. Because then I wouldn’t know what to say. Zaghan, my brother was a better liar than me. He was the manipulator who could easily make black look like white.
“I want to be here, Elizabeth,” I murmured. “I just can’t promise I’ll always know how.”
Her expression softened just a little, as if a storm cloud was thinning.
“I get it,” she whispered. “Everyone has a secret they want to protect.” Then gently, the corner of her lips curved. “Don’t just disappear without warning me first.”
“I won’t,” I said softly.
Though it was still small, fragile, she smiled.
She didn’t want me if I was going to keep randomly disappearing. And I wasn’t sure how I would stop this from happening. So long as I still maintained the pact with Zaghan, aslong as I still shared this body with my twin brother whom I ate, I would keep disappearing.
I never had a problem with this arrangement before. I was simply paying for my sins. But now, I didn’t want to disappear anymore. I didn’t want to betray Zaghan, but I also didn’t want to leave Elizabeth randomly. What should I do to not disappear and yet not stab my brother in the back?
“I was right,” she said, in a light tone that I was used to, the shine returning to her eyes. “You do really look like Draven Forrest with your hair down.”
Finally, she was looking at me.
I loved it when she looked at me.
I wanted to be there forever. In her orbit, suspended by gravity, unwilling to be anywhere else.
“I’m sure you have probably heard it a lot,” she said, her smile soft. “But you’re such a beautiful man, snow white.”
I had been told that I was strange. I had heard people ask if what made my skin pale and my hair white was contagious. I had been said to not be human enough.
But I was sure no one had ever called me a beautiful man before.
“Is it genetic?” she asked quietly, like she wasn’t sure if she should have asked.
“What?”
“Why you have white hair? I know it’s not albinism.” She stared at me intently, her pretty eyes rendering me powerless.
“They gave it a name.” I lifted my shoulders in a slight shrug. “Griscelli syndrome. Type 3.”
“Is it deadly?” she asked, and I wasn’t sure if to interpret the look in her eyes as panic. Her pupils did widen a bit.
