But it was too late to start weighing options. I was already here. Might as well get it done with.
I took a deep breath and straightened. Then recited my internal mantra. ‘A soldier should never flinch in front of a crowd.’ ‘A soldier should never flinch in front of a crowd….’
One step, two steps, three…I kept going. And by the sixth one, I was stepping through the revolving glass door.
But the second the door swung shut, closing me in, my blood ran cold and my body stiffened.
No, no, no. Callan, no.
The noise swelled, pressing against my skull. I tried to move, but my legs seemed rooted to the floor.
The walls, pristine and white, seemed to contract, shrinking around me. I stood frozen still, drowning in the sheer volume of bodies like a lone, armless soldier dropped into the middle of a battlefield.
My lungs tightened and my free hand raised, clawing at my chest. I tried to breathe, but the air was too thick, refusing to fill my chest in the desperate way I needed it to.
I could feel eyes watching me. My greatest worry. That alone made my pulse spike, knocking violently against my ribs, forcing heavy gasps out of my lips.
I was going to die here. Not at the war front from an enemy’s ambush. But at a damn bookstore from an anxiety attack.
How embarrassing.
“Hey, are you okay?” a soft voice suddenly murmured beside me.
My eyes snapped open and she was right there in front of me; a girl with hair like flames. Her eyes were enigmatic. They made me want to take a long walk in the great amazon.
My heart skipped a beat, the luminous essence of her beauty blinding me. Never in my life had I come across something so unreal.
“It’s my first time, too.” Her voice was clinical, her hand slipping into mine, giving it a tiny squeeze. “Don’t worry. I got you.”
Her touch was gentle, yet it felt as if I had stepped into the heart of a powerful force field. A surge of energy rippled through me, like the largest electrical charge had just been conducted in my body–96,500 coulombs.
What was that?I wondered, my thoughts frantic. But what unsettled me even more was the craving, the inexplicable need for another dose of that raw, electrical power.
“Don’t.” My voice came out unintentionally harsh as I snatched my hand from hers. “Don’t touch me.”
No one was allowed to touch me…not without my permission.
Her smile faltered and something crossed her eyes that felt like a stab to my gut. I tried to open my mouth to say something, a desperate attempt to take away the pain I must have unknowingly caused. She was the one that touched me out of the blue. I had no clue why I desperately wanted to apologise to her instead.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and in a second, the smile she lost rearranged back on her lips.
She glanced at the furthest part of the room where the crowd swam. “Honestly, I didn’t know it would be this much. I knew she was popular but seriously, it looks like a damn concert here. Ugh, this was such a bad idea. I should just have followed Ken…”
I stared at her as she spoke ten words per minute, unconcerned by my silence.
“Anyway.” She released what seemed like a final exhale as one prepared for a goodbye. “It was nice meeting you…again”
Again? Had we met before?
I wanted to ask what she meant. I didn’t have a bad memory unless due to some circumstances I was not proud of, by the way. But I was sure that if we had met before, I would have remembered her instantly. She didn’t have a face that could easily float behind memory.
“See you around, Snow white,” she said, and just like that, she was gone before I could muster up the courage to ask where she knew me from.
???
I stepped out of the building, my long strides measured and purposeful as I headed for my car.
My soldier straightened immediately at the sight of me, his eyes sharp as ever, ready to gun down any threat.
