And I do mean everything.
“I drew this for you at school today.” Lyla waves the drawing of us as a family at the zoo and it breaks my heart a little. Being that she’s only four years old, she’s still too young to understand. All she knows is Mommy and Daddy can’t be together anymore. She has no idea how much this man lied and deceived me. But she adores her father and that’s the only reason I’ve been able to set aside my differences with Steven and create a somewhat healthy relationship with him, and the court order says I have to.
“I love it. We’ll hang it up on the fridge when we get home. Can you give your mom and I minute to talk then we’ll go for pizza? What do you say?”
“Yay!” She claps as she heads over to the couch to watch Peppa Pig. Steven steps inside and closes the door, guiding me into the kitchen and out of earshot of Lyla.
“What is it, Steven?”
“I want more time with her,” he demands.
“You already get every other weekend. I think that’s more than enough.”
I can hardly stand it when she goes now. There’s no way I’m giving him more time.
“She’s my daughter too you know,” he grits.
I stand my ground. “Yes, I’m fully aware of that, but I think we should adhere to the terms of the court order for now. At least until I know I can fully trust you.”
“Trust me? What the hell do you think I’m going to do to her? Kidnap her? I would never hurt her.”
Deep down I know he wouldn’t hurt her, not intentionally, but I still won’t do it, not unless the court demands me to. Not until I can fully trust he has our daughter’s best interests at heart.
His anger soars but he keeps it reeled in, his voice low and menacing.
“If you don’t give me more time with her, I’ll haul your ass back into court. Every other weekend isn’t enough. I miss her all the time and it kills me that I don’t get to see her every day.”
Despite his flaws, and Lord knows he has many, Steven loves his daughter and Lyla thinks he hung the moon and stars, but I’m still weary. He manipulated me for six years; I can’t allow that to happen again.
If he wants to take me to court he can but I’m not giving him any more time than what the court demands.
“Do whatever you have to do, Steven,” I reply calmly, unaffected by his threat. I refuse to be intimidated by him, and that’s always been a source of contention between us.
He studies me for a moment, his face constricting with a mix of anger and frustration before he schools his expression and addresses his daughter in a calm voice. “Let’s go, Lyla Jo.”
Lyla hops up from the couch and hurries to give me a hug, curling her tiny arms around my neck. I’ve gotten good at putting on a brave face for her, even though I want to break down and cry every time she leaves me.
“Love you, sweet girl,” I tell her, fighting back the tears.
“Love you too, Mama.”
Once they’re gone, I pour myself a tall glass of wine and draw a bath, turning it to the hottest setting I can stand, hoping it will help me expel some of the tension coiling in my body. The cupcake bath bomb works wonders too as I ease down into the water, muscles soaking up the heat as the sweet aroma engulfs me. I close my eyes in an effort to clear my mind and take a long sip of wine, not at all looking forward to another weekend alone. But then my thoughts drift to the man who has dominated all of my secret thoughts. This is the only time I allow myself to think of him, when I’m all alone.
Placing my wine glass on the edge of the tub, I rub my hands up and down my body, allowing myself to chase the fantasy once more. I tell myself it’s the last time. The last time I’ll bring myself to orgasm thinking of his tattooed hands roaming my body, but I know that’s a lie.
My phone vibrates from the counter, tearing me from my dark journey.
“Shit.”
Lifting up from the tub, I quickly wrap a towel around my body and dry my hands before grabbing my phone and swiping to answer the unfamiliar number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Doc.”
The husky voice cools my warmed blood and the muscles I just loosened go tense.
The sound of his voice clearing echoes down the line, his voice growing gruffer. “You said I could call.”
