I laugh.
I’ve done a hell of a lot more than that.
“Jesus Christ, and just when I thought there was hope for you.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m crazy about her. Hell, I think I might even love her.”
I’m lying.
There’s nomight. I know I’m in love with her. I’m just too fucking scared to admit it out loud to anyone yet.
Not even her.
“Well, if anyone were to find love in the most unconventional way imaginable it would be you.”
“She’s got a little girl, too. Fucking crazy about them both. Thinking about bringing them home to meet Mom and Dad soon.”
“I’m happy for you, man. I can’t wait to meet ’em. I personally want to shake the hand of the woman who was able to reel your wild ass in.”
I laugh again, grabbing the keys and stepping out of my car. “You will soon. I promise. How’s Pop doing? Selena and the baby doing okay?”
“Pop’s good. Still ornery as ever. Selena will be six months next week.”
“Shit, I can’t believe you’re going to be a dad.”
I know he’ll be a great father. But I can’t stop the jealousy from nipping at my gut, knowing that I might never have that with Marley.
I’ll never see her belly grow round with my child.
There will be no late night craving runs or getting to hold my baby for the first time.
I won’t get to see Lyla become the perfect big sister I know she would be.
I’ll never forgive myself for making such an impulsive decision. And I guess that’s why I fear telling her that I love her.
Will I be enough for her?
“I know, me neither,” Justin says, and I can hear the pride in his voice. “It’s the best feeling in the world and the most terrifying.”
“I bet. You’ll be fine. We had a good one so there’s not a doubt in my mind you’ll be the best, too.”
“Thanks, man. Means a lot.”
My phone beeps with an incoming call, and I look at my screen to see it’s Marley. “Listen, I gotta run. I’ll call to catch up later. Give Selena a kiss for me.”
“Will do. Later, brother.”
I tap the screen to answer Marley’s call. “Hey, babe, how’s your day going?”
“Not so good. I have a patient who tried to commit suicide last night.”
“Shit, is she okay?”
“I think she will be. I need to go up to the hospital though. Is there any way you can pick up Lyla from daycare for me today? There’s no way I’ll be able to make it there in time. I tried to call Peter but he’s not picking up and I hate to call and ask Steven for anything.”
“Babe, relax. I’d love to go pick her up. Just tell me where.”
I climb back into my squad car as she gives me the address. I quickly punch it into my GPS.
