“How so?”
“Like you’re quietly pulling back the layers of my skin. It makes me feel vulnerable and exposed.”
“And you don’t like to feel vulnerable?”
“Fuck no. I hate it,” I grit.
More goddamn writing.
Then I get her eyes once more.
“Sometimes we have to open ourselves up to others, it’s the only way to express what we are feeling inside so others might understand us,” she says calmly.
That sounds painful as fuck, not to mention scary. I hate talking about my feelings. I’m surprised I’m still sitting in this chair right now, but something about her makes me want to open up.
To get it all out.
Even if it does make me feel uncomfortable.
She sets her notebook aside and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Her gaze returns to mine. “Were you bullied in school?”
“Somewhat. My brothers always had my back and they never let anyone mess with me but they weren’t always around.”
Memories begin to flood my mind. Memories I’ve kept buried for a long time. From a time that shaped and changed my life forever.
“Did something happen to you back in high school?”
I debate whether to tell her but figure if I am ever going to get better I need to tell her everything, and so, I do...
“Ivy Lee happened.”
“Was she your girlfriend?”
“No. She was the most popular girl in school. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. She was always nice to me when her boyfriend wasn’t looking. She brought me snacks to school and slipped them in my pocket when she’d walk by me in the hall. The highlight of my entire week would be those goddamn snacks. I’d have to dart into the bathroom right after thanks to the boner she would elicit but fuck, that girl consumed my life. She was my every waking thought and starred in all of my dirtiest dreams. She rattled something inside of me. One day while we were in class, she fingered herself right next to me. It was the craziest shit.
“The teasing went on for about three months. And as each day passed, I grew more and more obsessed with her. Then one day in the hall, instead of shoving snacks into my pocket, she pulled me into a corner and handed me a piece of paper with her address on it and told me to meet her there after school. I walked around with a hard-on for the rest of the day. Then, after school, I walked four miles to her house. Told Mom and Dad I had a science club meeting. When I got there she was alone. Or so I thought. She pulled me into the living room and told me to strip. I was apprehensive but she kept reassuring me her parents wouldn’t be home for hours and she just wanted me to make love to her. And God knows that’s all I wanted, too.”
Nausea bubbles in my gut as my mind drifts back to that day, recounting every detail that has been branded into my memory forever.
Her hands fumbled for my buttons and before I knew it the sound of my zipper coming down filled the room. She kept kissing and touching me. It felt so fucking good I came right there in my boxers. I was embarrassed at first, but then she got down on her knees, pulled my boxers down to my ankles, and sucked every last bit of cum off my dick.
Then she stood up and kissed me. I was in love with her before I even walked through the door. So when her lips touched mine, I wasn’t sure what to name the emotion that began blistering my soul. But just as quickly as the love in my heart flared with new life, it was quickly doused with a bucket of ice-cold water when her boyfriend, David, stepped out from the kitchen, a sneer pulling at his thin lips. He always looked at me with pure disgust in his eyes. I never understood why until that night. I was so fucking scared, wondering what the hell he was going to do to me. But instead of kicking my ass, he leaned down and kissed Ivy long and deep.
Once he released her, he looked down at my growing dick. I might not like that he kissed her but my dick didn’t really give a shit.
“See, I told you he’d be into it.”
“In—into what?”
“The three of us...together. What do you say?”
“What?”
It fucked me all up. There I was, damn near naked in her parents’ living room, boxers down around my ankles, hard as a rock and ready to make love to the woman of my dreams, and this asshole wanted to share her. I wasn’t sure I was capable of that. I was so confused. I quickly pulled my boxers up and reached for my pants but he was bigger, stronger, and moved a hell of a lot faster. He pinned me to the couch, face first.
“Judging by how hard your dick is right now, I think you’d enjoy it.”
