“High maintenance?” he tosses out, shoving his hands into the front of his jeans.
“Well, she’s different, that’s for sure.”
“She’s not you,” he whispers on a cold breeze but his words settle like a warm blanket over my soul.
His eyes hold mine in a silent standoff, the one we always seem to share now anytime we are near one another.
“Linc,” Charlotte calls out with a sugary voice as she takes up residence next to him, interrupting our stolen moment. He pulls his hand from his pocket to wrap an arm around her waist.
I extend my hand to her, anxious to leave. “It was nice to meet you, Charlotte.”
“You too,” she says sincerely. “Maybe you can come see us in Nashville sometime.”
Us.
How can one word be so devastating?
“That’d be great.” The words taste like sandpaper on my tongue.
After I give Linc a hug good-bye, I get inside my car as they walk to his truck parked a few rows over. I stick the key in the ignition but I don’t have the strength to turn it over. All I want to do is fall apart, along with everything else in my life.
I nearly give in when a soft knock taps the glass.
As the window rolls down, Linc pops his head in. “What’s up with you?”
Shaking my head, I hold back my tears. I have so much to tell him but now is not the time nor the place. Linc studies my face, knowingly, sensing my inner turmoil.
“Mom and Charlotte are going shopping. Wanna meet me at the tracks around noon tomorrow so we can talk?”
I nod, unable to speak for fear of losing it all together.
“Whatever it is, it’s gonna be okay,” he promises.
Slipping his hand to the back of my neck, he pulls me forward so his lips press against my forehead. They linger there and my heart begs for him to never let me go.
From the beginning, I vowed to see this through. I have a responsibility to Caroline, and keeping my family together has always been my first priority.
I’ve thought about leaving him more than once, but each time I remind myself that it will not only be me and Dean who will be affected by that decision, but Caroline will suffer most of all.
Then again, Dean and I were young. We made a mistake. Do I have to punish myself for the rest of my life? Or should I be fair to us both and end this before Caroline is old enough to understand?
Maybe if I leave now, it won’t be so hard on her.
I feel so lost.
I don’t know what to do.
These thoughts continue to roll through my head as I turn onto the dirt road leading to the tracks. Since today is Saturday, I left Caroline with my mother. Dean is at home sleeping off another all-nighter. He came walking in this morning and in order to avoid another confrontation, I didn’t say a word. But I’m at my breaking point, and I’m not sure how much more I can take.
Linc is already there waiting when I pull up. I kill the engine and take in a deep breath before I get out of my car and climb into his truck.
“Hey,” he says as I shut the door.
“Hey.”
He leans over to hug me, and I nearly fall apart right then but I manage to keep it together. “You look tired.”
I exhale a long sigh. “I’m exhausted.” Pretending everything is perfect on the outside can wear a person down, and I’m so tired of pretending. “I think Dean is on drugs.”
