Brandi and I had been dating for about four months when my brother came into town. I had every intention of introducing them but never got the chance. I was called in to work the first night he arrived and he went to the local bar to drink, where Brandi worked as a bartender. She’d seen pictures of Asher and my other brothers but he had no idea who she was until she told him her name after he fucked her in the men’s room.
“If you didn’t fuck everything with a pulse it wouldn’t have happened.”
“And you might not have ever found out she was screwing half the goddamn town.”
True.
But still.
“You’re my brother, man, you know I’d never do that,” he says. “I think we should really look at the positive side of all of this.”
“And what’s that?”
“If not for my monumental fuck up and your ex being a slut, you would’ve never met Selena.”
I pound down the steps, poking my forefinger into his chest. “I’m telling you right now, if you go anywhere near her, I’ll fucking kill you, brother or not, you got it?”
He retreats, holding up his hands. “Whoa…you’re serious about this one.”
“Deadly.”
“I swear, Justin, I would never take what’s yours. You should know that by now.”
I did know that. I know he would never hurt me intentionally. He’s my brother. One of the most loyal men I know. Had he known Brandi and I were together, he would have never touched her. I’ll admit I was pissed when it happened, but now looking back, I shouldn’t have been. And it all seems so fucking stupid and irrelevant now that Selena has come into my life.
My brothers and I have always been close, especially Ash and me. Only because we’re close in age, other than that we have nothing in common. Well except our blood runs blue. But that’s a bond we all share. When we were younger, he followed me around everywhere. To look at him now you wouldn’t think he was bullied as a child. My brothers and I were constantly getting into fights because other kids picked on him in school. After a while, they finally left him alone.
He was the scrawniest of us all but he was also the smartest. Made straight A’s throughout school and he was even accepted into several Ivy League colleges but decided to go to community instead, majoring in criminal justice and joining the force.
“I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry, and I’m getting help.”
Confused, I tilt my head. “Help for what?”
“My sex addiction.”
Sex addiction?
“What kind of help?”
“I’m seeing a therapist.”
“Is it that serious?”
“Apparently so.” He runs a frustrated hand over his face. “Fuck, I don’t know. It’s gotten to the point where it has taken over my life. It’s not only affecting my judgment but my relationships and my job. I need to do something about it before it gets out of control.”
“Did something happen at work?” I ask.
“Not yet, but I could feel myself getting ready to cross the line. That’s why I took a little time off to come down here and clear my head. No one else knows but you, and I’d like to keep it that way. Mom would freak the fuck out. I’m embarrassed enough to admit it to you. But you’re the only person I feel like understands me, you always have.”
I’ve never seen my brother shaken up like this. Except maybe that one time when he was a junior in high school, something happened to him that year that changed him. He receded further into his shell and became a hermit. Mom and Dad had to force him out of the house sometimes. Maybe whatever he’s battling has to do with that. Something from his past that he never got over.
The shame in his eyes indicates this is something that’s been weighing heavily on him for a while now.
“How long has this been going on?”
“Right after high school. I’ve hidden it for years but I’m ready to deal with it, move past it, and live a normal life.”
“Damn, Ash.”
