She hasn’t spoken a word since we left the grocery store. When we arrive at the house, I offer to help carry her bags to her room but she politely refuses so instead I put away the groceries. I give her half an hour before I make my way upstairs to check on her.
Pressing my ear to the door, I hear her faint cries and sniffles. Rosco looks up at me from his new post next to her door. His dark eyes are hard and critical.
You made her cry, asshole.
Guilt nips at my gut, even the dog knows it was me who upset her. I give the door a soft knock.
“Just a moment,” she says, and a few seconds later the door opens. Her face is red and splotchy, her eyes bloodshot.
“I’m sorry, Selena, I didn’t mean to—”
She waves her hand back and forth, bringing a tissue to her red nose. “I am just a silly girl.”
Turning away from me, she walks toward the open French doors and stands with her arms wrapped around her. I follow her inside and shut the door behind me. The wind catches her hair, lifting some of the tiny strands from her shoulder.
“Up until I was ten years old, I didn’t know who my real father was. My mother and I lived in Iowa with my stepfather, Teddy. We had a good life. A happy life. Then.” She turns to me, raking her teeth over her bottom lip, stifling the tears.
Her lip trembles.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
She moves to take a seat in the chair next to the open doors. “No, I want to talk about her. It’s been a long time since I could out loud. I’m very fortunate that I had her love in the beginning, because after living in hell for the past nine years, I would have never survived without it. I will never understand how she ended up with a monster like my father.”
I take a seat on the edge of the bed. Close enough but still so far away. Every part of me longs to touch her. Hold her. Make her mine in every way possible.
She takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. The strength resonating in her eyes is admirable.
“We lived on a ranch, much like this one only smaller. Miles from anywhere. My mother and Teddy were madly in love. I remember thinking how much I wanted what they had one day. They were happy. I knew early on he wasn’t my real father but he treated me like I was his own. We were a family.” A sob tears from her trembling lips. “I miss them so much. I miss my family.”
I reach my hand out to cover hers, searching for the right words to ease her pain but there are none.
“Her final words to me were, ‘you were given this life because you were strong enough to live it.’ Those words got me through some of the darkest moments of my life, but sometimes I wonder if I am strong enough, because right now, I just want to fall apart.”
Fuck me.
That’s when the dam breaks and who could blame her? If the bastard wasn’t already dead, I’d hunt him down and kill him myself.
I can’t hold back any longer, pulling her from the chair into my lap. She gasps at first, shocked by our closeness, but then she buries her face in my neck and lets herself fall apart. Stroking her back, I remain quiet, simply holding her. Giving her what she needs.
Silence and comfort.
Words seem so trivial right now. There isn’t anything I can say that will erase what has happened or what she’s seen.
What she’s lost.
Lifting her head, her eyes find mine. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
She shakes her head, hair falling in her face, I push one side back behind her ear. “I’m a mess. My emotions are all over the place. I just…feel so alone. I have no one.”
I brush her damp hair from her cheeks then drag the pad of my thumb beneath her eye.
Goddamn those eyes.
The sadness in them guts me every time.
“You’re not alone.”
