When I finally emerge, I feel somewhat better, and deep down I know it’s because of him.
Because he’s here.
Regardless of if I want to admit it or not, I do need him. Linc has always been there, for every single good and bad moment in my life. Whether he was hundreds of miles away or right here, he’s always been there.
This is no different.
Linc is in the kitchen on the phone when I come down. His back is facing me as he leans forward on the counter. “Are you still nauseous?” he asks, and I surmise he must be talking to Gwynn. There’s a long moment of silence before he finally speaks again. “When is that appointment again? I haven’t asked her yet but I will. I know, Mom, I know. All right, I’ll be home later. Get some rest. I love you, too. Bye.”
He shoves the phone into his front pocket and spins around. “How is she?” I ask, my stomach twisted in knots.
“She’s been real tired lately but she doesn’t let it slow her down. I have to stay on her constantly to get rest. She only agreed to take leave from her job because I threatened to go up there and haul her ass out myself. That woman is as stubborn as you are.”
“I am not stubborn.”
Linc bursts into laughter, the sound deep and familiar, tickling my spine.
I love his laugh. It’s so genuine. Contagious. It never fails to elicit my own, no matter how hard I try not to.
“You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”
“I can say the same about you. Well, except the woman part.”
He laughs again.
“She wants you and Caroline to come over for dinner Saturday night.”
Shame washes over me, reminding me of the time I’ve lost with her. There are so many things I’d change if I had the chance to do it all over again. I just hope Gwynn has found it in her heart to forgive me.
“I’d love that.”
He frowns, walking toward me. “You okay?”
I shrug, my eyes falling to the floor. “I don’t know.”
Closing the distance between us, his soft green eyes hold mine. I feel so raw beneath his gaze. He can see all the things I try to hide so there’s no use in even trying. His fingers lift my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes once more. I find comfort and understanding there, and something I thought I lost a long time ago.
Myself.
“You’ll get through this, and what’s waiting for you on the other side will be worth the climb. Trust the journey, baby, and trust me to help get you there.”
“I do trust you. I always have. It’s just…it still hurts so much. I’m tired of hurting, Linc. I’m just so tired.”
“I know, baby. I know it hurts. There’s nothing I can do about the pain. You have tofeelit, Syl. You have to feel it so you can live it and move on. But you have to try. Avoiding me and avoiding life isn’t gonna make it go away. You have to face this.”
“I know,” I whisper, my heart squeezing with agony in my chest.
He lowers his mouth to mine and all of my sorrows seem to melt away. He’s a whisper of hope upon my lips, steadfast and true; giving me the one thing I need the most right now—his love. His hands move to my hips while his tongue wars with mine in a quest to brand me in some way but he doesn’t have to.
My heart has always belonged to him.
I sigh into his mouth, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. His groan of pleasure prompts me to fist the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. Those hands digging into my hips move to cradle my face as he begins to slow the kiss. “To know I can kiss you anytime I want is something I’ll never get used to.”
I smile, opening my eyes to find his staring back at me with great intensity. “Who said you can kiss me anytime you want?”
He kisses me again with even more possession. “You sayin’ I can’t?”
“We need to be careful around Caroline. At least until we figure things out.”
“I won’t rush you. I want you to heal, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure that happens but you’re mine now. I don’t know any other way to say it. I just know I can’t go another day without you by my side. Life is too damn short for that. We’re in this together, Syl. We always have been.”
This is so far away from the boy who was once afraid to tell me how he felt all those years ago. This is a man who knows exactly what he wants, and he isn’t wasting any more time.
“I come with a lot of baggage, Linc. A little girl who lost her father, and then there’s me. There’s not much left but a few broken pieces. I’m not the girl I was back then.”
“That’s not true. I know exactly who you are. You’re the girl who could always make me smile, even on the shittiest of days. The girl who stole my heart in the fifth grade and never gave it back. That’s who you are. Life may have shaped you to be the woman you are today, but all of those parts are still there. Every memory we ever shared, they’re all still there. And I plan on reminding you of every single one.”
